Keeping the blogosphere posted on the goings on of the world of submarines since late 2004... and mocking and belittling general foolishness wherever it may be found. Idaho's first and foremost submarine blog. (If you don't like something on this blog, please E-mail me; don't call me at home.)

Tuesday, April 01, 2014

Fair Winds And Following Seas

It's been almost 10 years, but it's time for me to say "farewell" to The Stupid Shall Be Punished and hang up my blogger's hat. Basically, I've run out of UNCLAS sea stories. Thanks to all the readers and commenters who have made TSSBP the great place it's been for Submariners to hang out, argue, and tell sea stories over the last decade. I think that communities like this are important, and I hope someone else picks up the baton and runs with it.

I'll probably post again if there's some "lead story in the news" type of submarine story, or if I ever finish the short story I've been thinking about writing for the last 12 years, or if I just need a convenient parking spot for some long-form political essay I feel I need to write, but otherwise I think this will be it. Thanks for reading all my sea stories over the years, and contributing your own.

As all Submariners know, and non-Submariners have such difficulty understanding, the brotherhood of submarining is truly unique. In no other field of endeavor do men have to place such trust in one another at all times to keep one another safe. This creates a bond that years and distance cannot dim. I often feel that I probably have more in common with non-American Submariners than I do with regular people in my hometown. The experiences we share -- the ones we can't share with anyone else outside the fraternity -- are what make us so different. While other military organizations share something similar, we are the only group -- outside of maybe astronauts -- who exist continually surrounded by an environment that can kill us in an instant if someone makes a mistake, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, when out at sea. Submariners must trust their shipmates, and their ships, literally with our lives. We each leave something of ourselves behind on each submarine on which we serve, from which each boat forms it's own soul. Submarines are truly alive with the blood, sweat, and tears of every person who has served on her.

"They that go down to the sea in ships, that do business in great waters; These see the works of the Lord, and his wonders in the deep." -- Psalms 107:23-24

Going deep...


Anonymous Travis said...

I'm calling this an April Fool's prank.

4/01/2014 7:22 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

It drips with sincerity but the day is all wrong.

4/01/2014 7:27 AM

Blogger Curt said...

Click -

4/01/2014 7:44 AM

Anonymous Mark Campbell said...

I missed the joke, if it is one. But your sentiments about others having difficulty with understanding are very true...maybe we have another exception. There is a great article on the ICES written by Thomas L. Friedman of the New York Times. I particularly liked the last six paragraphs!!! Parallel Parking in the Arctic

4/01/2014 9:32 AM

Anonymous ninme said...

Until tomorrow, my reaction shall be...

4/01/2014 10:07 AM

Blogger phw said...

Godspeed Bubblehead! This blog has been fun to follow.

4/01/2014 2:55 PM

Anonymous Glenn555 said...

You can't,,hopefully won't. You better not. We know where you live.You can run, but you can't hide. I may be a "coner" but I got lots of time back aft and know a lot of hideyholes. Stand by to stand by.

4/01/2014 3:12 PM

Blogger a_former_elt_2jv said...


I'd like to nominate Mike Mulligan to run the blog in your absence. Thanks for your hard work!

4/01/2014 3:12 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

What happened Joel did NR get to you too? Just threaten them with your second ammendment rights like you did on the previous thread.....

4/01/2014 3:31 PM

Anonymous Glenn555 said...

Wait a minute. You rode the boats. Spent umptyfrats time bored/scared shitless, freezing/sweating yer ass off (depending.....) and NOW you can't come up with a no shitter? I've been out a long time, but having been a boat sailor, I can say that the stories are always "UNCLASS", but can be, and are told,,,,,,,,,UNCLASS. You still have a million, just stir after shaking.

4/01/2014 3:43 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I refuse to accept this reality - this must be an April fools joke!!!

4/01/2014 6:19 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

If this isn't a joke, then the submarine community needs a good online community. I recommend turning the blog over to someone who's not an idiot.
For the officers, I recommend checking out Sailorbob-- it's a SWO forum, but they are welcoming to submariners of which there are several there; lots of useful information and connections, they've helped me out on multiple occasions.

4/01/2014 6:25 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I second Mike Mulligan to be the new blog master (along with continuing his collateral duty as "Village Idiot")!

4/01/2014 6:26 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

From black sails; I'll carry me oars far enough inland that when someone asked what are those for I'll know if found home . Idaho? Many thanks Joel and keep the water out of the people tank.

4/01/2014 6:44 PM

Anonymous ssnret said...

One last time Joel; The Submarine Song.

4/01/2014 7:48 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Under close supervision it might be somewhat interesting to see what Mikey has to say on occasion. But remember if we let him out of his cage for an extended period of time, we will all have to occasionally assume the duty station of "Mulligan Watch" throughout the week. We might have to rethink this potential action a bit more closely in the near future.

4/01/2014 7:52 PM

Blogger CDR Salamander said...

Almost ... almost ..

4/01/2014 8:22 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Good riddance!

4/01/2014 8:39 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey shippy, I've now got an insider on the Nebraska to send me care packages of goods. How the hell I gonna get you some now?


4/01/2014 10:21 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

what ever happened to tubedaze, he should run this shit

a different elt 2jv

4/01/2014 10:32 PM

Anonymous Glenn555biscrhn said...

Sorry, wrong bunk.

4/02/2014 5:55 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Basically, all the blog now is posting submarine news items... Not sure how this would change anything anyway.

4/02/2014 6:44 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I was Never Here...


4/02/2014 6:52 AM

Blogger Mike Mulligan said...

"But remember if we let him out of his cage for an extended period of time, we will all have to occasionally assume the duty station of "Mulligan Watch" throughout the week. We might have to rethink this potential action a bit more closely in the near future."

My wife feels the same way.

4/02/2014 7:19 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

MM you are the worst. Please go away. Joel this blog is the TMZ for submariners. Which makes you the RO that is whining about his job on the mid-watch. Congrats you non-screen puke. Have fun in I-dunno. I hear that is a booming metropolis for high achievers like yourself.

4/02/2014 11:14 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Joel, Looks like you got out when the going was good. FW bro.

4/02/2014 11:18 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Best blog I've ever read, and I begin every day by checking in. Joel, if this is your final no-shitter, then thank you for all the years. But I really hope it's an April fools.

4/02/2014 4:16 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Joel, As a retired submariner I have always enjoyed your blog. Some comments from our shipmates were really rough, but others were insightful and wise. I hope you are not doing this for the wrong reason(s). There will always be trolls, but some of us here really do care about our fellow shipmates and your blog is one of the few that is informative and fun. If you want to comment occasionally, then that is your arena, but do not EVER throw in the hat. -Retired NAV-A-GUESSER

4/02/2014 5:26 PM

Anonymous 3383 said...

Since when wereyou posting your sea stories?
I refer you to your own mission statement. Hopefully this is just a 1APR thing.

4/02/2014 5:40 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

i hope this is not your last posting, and instead an April Fools joke. I have a son and son in law serving on subs, and this blog site helps dads like me understand SOME of what they live through underwater for so long. God's Peace.

4/02/2014 7:13 PM

Blogger Scott Minium said...

If this is adieu, then well done, BFZ and best of luck!

4/03/2014 12:03 AM

Anonymous Dardar the Submarian said...

I, too, hope this is an extensive April fools joke. I live for this shit to break up the monotony of my daily routine.

If not, then thank you, Joel, this has been a great place for bubbleheads to compare, bitch, and learn. .

4/03/2014 6:36 AM

Anonymous NHSparky said...

Whether joke or serious, I've learned a lot, laughed a lot, gotten pissed off more than once, and still enjoyed every post I've read here.

Except for yours, Mike. They all pretty much sucked.

Perhaps you might consider posting on tips you've received from those still out there? I know it gets hard (repetitious) to post about Dirty Dave, et al, getting the boot.

I know I'm definitely keeping an ear out for what eventually goes down in Charleston on the MTS.

4/03/2014 10:46 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Why not just take submissions on stories? Does not permit you to designate someone as a comment moderator? This is the only decent SS community on the internet. Every blog on the sidebar is dead or has no action on it. Hopefully this is just AF.


4/03/2014 12:56 PM

Blogger Curt said...

No Balls.

4/03/2014 1:35 PM

Blogger Bubblehead said...

I can assign a co-blogger as Admin if they want to run and moderate the thing. Any volunteers, let me know.

4/03/2014 3:49 PM

Blogger a_former_elt_2jv said...

Wow! I really didn't think you were serious.

Fair winds Joel, and good luck with whatever life has in store for you next!

4/04/2014 10:06 AM

Anonymous Difar53 said...

I have been listening in for years so from an airborne ASW guy... I am hoping this is an April fools joke and I will detect a transient soon...

4/04/2014 10:41 AM

Blogger Mike Mulligan said...

It wouldn't be a paid position?

4/04/2014 12:09 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm sorry to see you hang it up Joel. I was never a submariner, just a lowly Canadian Air Force reserves officer and not much of one at that. But this blog and all the comments has opened my eyes to a world most people have never even thought of, let alone lived. Thank you so much for your efforts, and good luck.

4/04/2014 2:21 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Always good to see you on here Skipper. Still regret not making it back out to Guam. Still not sure why I left. Good times.

ELT #3

4/04/2014 7:54 PM

Anonymous Dirty Dave said...

Well it's been busy as birds and bees here gettinf ready for midshitter summer cruise in the FCA here, but I get set up for an even bigger target set based on advanced placement this year. Joel! If you shutter this joint I'll have to write a bok instead of posting my achievements this summer here. Too much work but think 'A midshipman's summer night dreams'. Please save me from the book.

4/04/2014 10:43 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Joel, You still have plenty of tales to tell. Don't give up one of the finest forums on the net.

From another point of view, you enjoy politics. You like a good argument. The Navy has become so F**King political nowadays, we could use a could commentator such as yourself.

Stay with it if you're able. One suspects that you still have a shit ton more to contribute to the real world. Between the bars and stars and congress, you wouldn't believe who reads this this site on a daily basis.

4/04/2014 11:17 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Joel,

I really hope this is an april 1st joke.
I've been following your blog for several years now and it gave me some insight (how little it may be)in the otherwise very closed communtity of submariners and their jobs. As a civilian with huge interest in all submarine related stuff, this blog gives me a look on how you guys see things and take care of business. Damn shame if this would come to an end..
What attracts me alot in this blog are the personal stories of you and the commenters. What an exceptional chance for us civilians.
There will always be commenters criticising your or other peoples arguments. That's the downside of internet blogging I suppose.
Up to us to ignore these people. Criticising is the easiest job in the world, not?

I really hope you will give this a second thought, Joel.

4/05/2014 2:54 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Joel, I hope you reconsider closing shop. I have not understood much of what you guys said being a diesel boat sailor, what with all the acronyms you guys use and abuse, but realized you nucs bitched, whined, cried and complained as much as us old pharts did and I enjoyed reading about it. Sometimes a pearl of wisdom was dropped and it bought out some of the best comments I have read on any blog.
Fair winds and following seas...

4/05/2014 7:02 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hope your health is holding up, thanks for the hours enjoyable reading interspersed with Mulligan's unintelligible ravings.

4/06/2014 2:14 AM

Anonymous usn cwo ret said...

I was never a submariner, but have had many close professional relationships with those who are. I also had --for a the last few years of my naval service-- the privilege of being a small part of team to be small part of a big team that delivered some stuff that went to sea (sometimes) on SSNs. So while I don't know jack about submarines, I know plenty about submariners.

This is the second blog I read daily that has folded up its tent this year.

I'll miss it, and those who visited here. I learned much and laughed often.

4/06/2014 3:48 AM

Anonymous Tracy T said...

I have truly enjoyed reading this blog, and thank you for taking the time to share your insights over the years. All the best to you!

4/06/2014 7:38 AM

Anonymous Friv 4 said...

I hope that this is the most rewarding thing, good luck

4/08/2014 2:41 AM

Anonymous Friv 3 said...

I hope that what comes next will bring you great and more useful, good luck

4/08/2014 2:43 AM

Anonymous Friv 2 said...

thank you very much for what you bring it very useful and interesting

4/08/2014 2:44 AM

Blogger Unknown said...

Genuines Works of Data Entry, Copy Pasting, Add Posting, Clicking, Web Surfing, Website Visiting, Article Sharing, Data Sharing, Google Business Plan and Much More Business Plans

4/08/2014 3:50 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Was it something I said? [grin]
Many thanks to you Joel, for providing this premier submariners "dive" for so many years. This was the best boat forum because it was a great place where submariners could be, well...submariners.
Greatly appreciated. Thank you. All the best to you and yours. Good luck with your writing.

"TSSBP, departing. Hand salute!"


4/08/2014 9:25 PM

Blogger Unknown said...

The day I find your blog and it's only 8 days after you quit. :(

4/09/2014 8:06 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

You fooled me! I'm very much hoping this is an April fools joke!

Ex Nuke - SSN-668

4/09/2014 10:42 AM

Blogger Curt said...

No Balls...

4/10/2014 7:36 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hand the blog over to Vigilis.

4/10/2014 10:15 AM

Blogger wtfdnucsailor said...

OK Joel, I have held off in hopes that this was a very cool April Fool joke but since today is the anniversary of the loss of THRESHER and there is no post from you, I have to believe that it is for real. Thanks for your past service and this great blog. I will miss keeping up with the submarine force through it. I will also miss the various opportunities to compare the sub fleet of yesteryear with today's marvels. Thanks again. I still hope you will change your mind.

4/10/2014 10:16 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Fair winds Joel, this page has been the voice of submariners for years on end.

4/10/2014 1:46 PM

Blogger Old Salt said...

I agree with WTF. I was hoping for the April Fools, but it seems to no avail. I enjoyed your blog for many years now.

Old Salt

4/10/2014 6:37 PM

Anonymous Bubblehead said...

Happy April Fools everyone. New posts will be forthcoming.

4/10/2014 7:14 PM

Anonymous Old Cob said...

Joel, you are a Shitbird. You took 10 years off my life and I can not afford that, because I'm already 73.

4/10/2014 7:45 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey Joel, email me a wish list of what you would like off the Nebraska. The combined crew 3MC is a friend of mine. I'm gonna be asking soon.
Glad you stayed around!


4/10/2014 10:04 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well done Joel. I was just about to send a farewell.

4/10/2014 11:45 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Joel would you reconsider by any chance? Since you are the CO of this boat, oops, I mean can always exercise your privilege and right of Captain's Prerogative. You really wouldn't believe some of the individuals who read this blog on a daily basis. Additionally, how many other boat blogs are there on the net? I'm talking about the ones who almost exclusively dedicate their concentrated effort to Submarines and the personnel who have served and who still do presently serve. There are not very many if you really think about it and for obvious reasons.

Joel, you have a huge following and a shit-ton of shipmates to help you when engaging and presenting a new thread or idea. A lot of people in this mean ass world, would like to see you stay.

4/10/2014 11:52 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

The bubbleheads comment about happy April Fools looks different than any other bubbleheads comment from before, pretty sure a few of you just got had.

4/11/2014 1:01 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

In real news, the Flag List came out this week. Congratulations to Pete Clarke, Rich Correll, Lorin Selby, and John Tammen for selection to Rear Admiral.

4/11/2014 7:28 AM

Anonymous ICanBeAnyone said...

Sadly, the post a few lines above from "bubblehead" most likely wasn't from Joel; when he posts, he's authenticated and his handle is in blue and links to his Blogger account. The above poster's identity is as bogus as this post's.


4/11/2014 12:18 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Okay good. That means Joel ain't gonna retire anytime soon. All is well in the universe at present.

4/11/2014 9:05 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Written 1,000 years before the event it foretold, here is Psalms chapter 22: a prayer for when one may find oneself crucified in life.


Psalm 22

My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?
Why so far from my call for help,
from my cries of anguish?

My God, I call by day, but you do not answer;
by night, but I have no relief.

Yet you are enthroned as the Holy One;
you are the glory of Israel.

In you our fathers trusted;
they trusted and you rescued them.

To you they cried out and they escaped;
in you they trusted and were not disappointed.

But I am a worm, not a man,
scorned by men, despised by the people.

All who see me mock me;
they curl their lips and jeer;
they shake their heads at me:

“He relied on the LORD—let him deliver him;
if he loves him, let him rescue him.”

For you drew me forth from the womb,
made me safe at my mother’s breasts.

Upon you I was thrust from the womb;
since my mother bore me you are my God.

Do not stay far from me,
for trouble is near,
and there is no one to help.

Many bulls surround me;
fierce bulls of Bashan encircle me.

They open their mouths against me,
lions that rend and roar.

Like water my life drains away;
all my bones are disjointed.
My heart has become like wax,
it melts away within me.

As dry as a potsherd is my throat;
my tongue cleaves to my palate;
you lay me in the dust of death.

Dogs surround me;
a pack of evildoers closes in on me.
They have pierced my hands and my feet

I can count all my bones.
They stare at me and gloat;

they divide my garments among them;
for my clothing they cast lots.

But you, LORD, do not stay far off;
my strength, come quickly to help me.

Deliver my soul from the sword,
my life from the grip of the dog.

Save me from the lion’s mouth,
my poor life from the horns of wild bulls.

Then I will proclaim your name to my brethren;
in the assembly I will praise you:

“You who fear the LORD, give praise!
All descendants of Jacob, give honor;
show reverence, all descendants of Israel!

For he has not spurned or disdained
the misery of this poor wretch,
Did not turn away from me,
but heard me when I cried out.

I will offer praise in the great assembly;
my vows I will fulfill before those who fear him.

The poor will eat their fill;
those who seek the LORD will offer praise.
May your hearts enjoy life forever!”

All the ends of the earth
will remember and turn to the LORD;
All the families of nations
will bow low before him.

For kingship belongs to the LORD,
the ruler over the nations.

All who sleep in the earth
will bow low before God;
All who have gone down into the dust
will kneel in homage.

And I will live for the LORD;
my descendants will serve you.

The generation to come will be told of the Lord,
that they may proclaim to a people yet unborn
the deliverance you have brought.

4/13/2014 2:35 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dylan Thomas should have been a fucking Submariner plain and simple.

Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

The 2nd stanza always got me the most. Or atleast it was the most influential. I always took it with me when we got underway.

Call it waht you will, but it worked for me.

4/13/2014 8:00 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

"...Then I watched while he broke open the sixth seal, and there was a great earthquake; the sun turned as black as dark sackcloth and the whole moon became like blood..."

4/15/2014 2:16 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

(The Sixth Seal)

4/15/2014 2:21 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Joel, I am a Brazilian navy submarine officer and despite the cultural differences, I think all submariners have a lot in comum. Nice prank and looking forward to see new posts. Thanks for keeping the blog and share gray stories with the submariners community.
LT Fampa, Brazilian Navy

Dolphin code 38

4/15/2014 7:43 PM

Blogger Unknown said...


4/15/2014 7:45 PM

Anonymous Dick (head) Mefford said...

This blog would be better if the Trident Fags would stop bitching about how difficult their life is.

4/16/2014 9:32 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm a Trident fag and although I may bitch about our tough life...I bitch from home!

4/17/2014 7:34 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

So based on what legal basis do you think NR is taking CHASN cheating scandal Sailors to mast? Since when can Sailors ashore be told they cannot refuse mast? If the charge is past the statute of limitations, is it legal to still pursue? Hmmm.

and yes, there's a reason this is anonymous.

4/18/2014 2:27 AM

Blogger Bubblehead said...

Closing off comments for the blog. It's been fun, as as I said above, I'll post again if there's a "lead of the news" type submarine story, if I need a stash place for a political essay, or if I ever finish my short story. Until then, I'm keeping the TSSBP group open on Facebook and posting there occasionally.

4/19/2014 1:14 PM


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