While I never did a Christmas return from deployment, I did return right before the 4th of July once, and I had a 12/23 return from a "that's why you always bring all your gear on board even for weekly ops" adventure on Topeka in 1991 after Chicago turned her diesel into a seawater pump and we had to pick up her Nanoose Mk 50 OpEval.
What kind of world are these Submariners returning to? Well, it's one where an XO and CMC of a skimmer can be fired for "collective discipline" or "hazing", depending on your point of view, for publicly shaming an entire group of female Sailors when some of them didn't understand that you shouldn't crap in a non-working shitter. It's also a world where an Aussie boat with female Submariners assigned had a groping and unwanted sexual advances issue (full link requires subscription) that either didn't happen in the way you expected, or exactly the way that you expected. (Here's an article with better news about the RAN Submarine Force; found it while looking for a non-firewalled mention of the story above, a task at which I was unsuccessful.)
What's your favorite holiday return from deployment story?
Here is the complete (non-firewalled) version of that same article about the female groper for what it is worth: You are welcome!
ReplyDeleteCorrection, it works for a only a few sessions before the subscription overlay incessantly blocks the "premium content".
ReplyDeleteHowever, this annoyance is still handily overcome by stopping the loading in a slight interval before the subscription notice appears, and as many times as one likes.
SSN on Westpac deployment in Guam for upkeep. One of our main engine throttle linkages broke a pin, so we trade our broken gearbox for a working one from an SSBN also in for upkeep. Since we had two screws, it wasn't immediately obvious to us that the borrowed gear box had a different gear ratio than ours. Since they only had one screw, it was immediately obvious to the SSBN, but only after we had already left for transit to homeport. When we pulled into homeport, an O-5 Chop grabbed the borrowed gearbox and personally escorted it to back to Guam. Even though we ended up making the landing with one main engine in local throttle control, we got to come in a day early (just before Christmas) in order to support the SSBN going on patrol on schedule.
ReplyDeleteThis is not a return from deployment story but is related to Christmas holidays.
ReplyDeleteI had been on my boat for about six weeks which was half way through a refueling overhaul at PSNS. About the first week of December we were attending an all hands muster in the barge briefing room. The XO and COB were going over the shipyard stand-down schedule. It was pretty obvious that the command wanted to ensure no one got a good deal unless they took leave. Even though the shipyard was going to be shutdown for two solid weeks, my command concocted some hare-brained training and muster schedule to ensure you couldn't go anywhere without actually burning leave.
At one point during the brief while the XO was taking a breath, one very vocal and very short nuke said for all to hear, "Merry F***ing Christmas!" At which point the Eng screamed his name and told him to report to the Eng's stateroom, "NOW!"
Hilarious!
I had been on my boat for about six weeks which was half way through a refueling overhaul at PSNS. About the first week of December we were attending an all hands muster in the barge briefing room. The XO and COB were going over the shipyard stand-down schedule. It was pretty obvious that the command wanted to ensure no one got a good deal unless they took leave. Even though the shipyard was going to be shutdown for two solid weeks, my command concocted some hare-brained training and muster schedule to ensure you couldn't go anywhere without actually burning leave.
ReplyDeleteThis seems to be standard. Byproduct of CO's getting their asses pounded when crewmembers lose days and an optempo that only supports leave for 14 days a year (other than the random 3-day weekend to burn just cuz you'll lose it if you don't) when you accrue 30 days a year.
We got as far as the reef outside Pearl on Christmas Eve in '67. That Christmas is remembered as Guardfish On the Rocks.
ReplyDeleteWe concluded our 3 month Med run during the first week of February when I left the boat for separations to the civilian world. Last day in separations we had to wait most of the day before some low level 02 with an 05 ego made us wait most of the day for our final orders. You should have heard the noise. If that fag jg would have had the balls to step outside where we were, he would have gotten his ass kicked in. Egotistical, landlocked, reserve prick.
ReplyDeleteIt was close enough to Christmas where I still felt like it was Christmas, getting the best of gifts.
After a year long break from this board, I see Joel has turned into an muttering idiot - criticizing Obama's policy as if he didn't vote for the moron.
ReplyDeleteA few years ago, on an SSBN, we had one ETCS nuke with 15 years in, missing his first Christmas. He was the whiniest Sailor I ever met. I swear, they guy pouted the whole friggin patrol!
ReplyDeleteBest thing about it, everyone gave him shit for being a whiny bitch!
Anon @1206. May your next absence be even longer. Happy 2014 too!
ReplyDeleteYours
Sparky
One Christmas, I ended up standing port and starboard duty days as EDO in the shipyard for two weeks.
ReplyDeleteThe worst part was that one of my fellow shipmates who was to start PNEO in January, who wasn't on the watchbill at all over the stand down because he said he was taking leave, instead, canceled his leave, but managed to skate out of duty all together. That SOB came into the boat each day for a few hours to study and seemed confused as to why I was pissed at him.
If you haven't alredy found the article text about the female female groper, here you go:
ReplyDeletehttp://theaustralian.newspaperdirect.com/epaper/viewer.aspx?issue=17202013122000000000001001&page=1&article=e7c4ed1a-fd9c-4201-97c2-2165691e7704&key=OkfYAmc1moHPs+8t+7sdWw==&feed=rss
Link to Female Female Groper Article
ReplyDelete