Keeping the blogosphere posted on the goings on of the world of submarines since late 2004... and mocking and belittling general foolishness wherever it may be found. Idaho's first and foremost submarine blog. (If you don't like something on this blog, please E-mail me; don't call me at home.)

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Stupid Submariner Tricks

One time when I was a JO, I went on leave with the reactor safety keys. I'd gotten relieved as EDO and signed out on leave, and drove home without turning over the keys. When I got home, I heard the phone ringing inside, and as I reached into my pocket to get the keys, I felt the lanyard and thought, "I bet I know what that call's about." (There was an RC entry planned for that day). Had to turn around and head back to the boat.

What's the most embarrassing gaffe you've ever committed on a submarine?

60 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Calling an all-hands security violation on the XO. I was doing my pre-watch tour of the engine room, and found him banging on the hull in shaft alley. Turns out he was running a drill to see if sonar picked the sound up on that self-monitoring system of hydrophones (I forget the name of it now).

5/19/2010 9:36 AM

 
Blogger Bearpaw said...

In the shipyard, my relief and I didn't notice the phone was off the hook on the RC div workbench. We conducted our SRW turnover - Same-O, Same-O, I had it, you got it. Well Captain Porter from NR was waiting for the EDO on the other end of the line. We got disqualified by phone....

5/19/2010 10:01 AM

 
Blogger 630-738 said...

I left the boat and went home one afternoon. I was sitting on the couch, watching TV when the phone rang. I answered, and one of my Electrician's asked me if I wouldn't mind terribly coming back to the boat and doing my 7:30 tour (on that boat we alternated EDO/EDPO/SDO/Duty Chief tours so that someone toured every 1.5 hours). I had forgotten that I was EDPO!

5/19/2010 10:02 AM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

In an effort not to talk to watchstanders during drills, the drill team often provided indications via 3x5 cards or other methods. Well, for a fire in the galley, while the MS (CS now) was grilling sandwiches for soup down, the drill team started waving a grey flag (smoke). The MS continued cooking. The monitors, approaching frustration, wrote on a 3x5 card "smoke" and placed it in front of the MS. Again, he continued cooking. Finally, giving up all requirements not to talk to watchstanders, the drill monitor said, "Hey, what do you do when you smell smoke." The MS responded, "Exactly what I've been doing - flip the grilled cheese sandwiches."

5/19/2010 10:14 AM

 
Anonymous Former 755/742 E div. said...

It seemed to me that most of my 'gaffes' were done when I was under instruction, but once when I was SEO, and newly qualified, I lost all AC except for the tie bus.

Starting a MFP on shore power, the SRO asks me what I'm going to do. I review all the steps with him, and they were all fine. I grab the auto DC volts adjust rheostat to unload shore power, and the SRO tells me I have to use the coarse adjust, not the fine. I ask him how much, and he says, "a lot."

Just as I grab the big rheostat, the feed station watch is on the phones asking me if we're "going to start the fucking feed pump anytime soon"....I gave the knob a twist from hell, and watched all the ammeters peg and breakers trip as the lights went out. Feed station on the phones says, "guess not."

I didn't even get disqualified, though.

5/19/2010 10:46 AM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Two incedents, luckily not directly involving me.

Undocking day comes and we sent the previous days SDO home while everyone else stayed onboard for the evolution. Well, as the water starts filling the basin we realize, holy shit he took the MBT Vent lock keys with him home. He got back in time, but we still gave him shit.

Fast forward a few months and we get underway for some local ops. Well, during the diving brief the question comes up "who has the MBT Vent keys?" This time the previous day's SDO stayed on shore for PNEO. So what do we do? Get on the Iridium phone and call him at PNEO, delaying the dive. He says he swears he doesn't have them. I go down to check the rack of the LT that relieved him that morning and sure enough he is passed out in his rack and the keys are still wrapped around his belt. So close to breaking out the bolt cutters.

5/19/2010 12:26 PM

 
Anonymous 3383 said...

No, not a submariner trick, but still....
Soon after the brow went across in Pearl, I brought a girl (and her friend) aboard. The friend was Lynn Lemay just pre-career, and I was giving them a quick tour. While at the 011 level (signal bridge) and explaining something to LL, and while our escorting frigate passed abreast, my friend flashed the Perry (I think it was the Puller).
Her audience aboard two shipswas appreciative, I was aghast, CDR Davis (Weps), the CDO, hopped up the stairs to tell me to get the girls off the ship, and I had the fastest XO mast in history.
CDR Lewandowski, holding back laughter, dismissed whatever the charges were, but informed me that he didn't think there was anything I really needed doing ashore this trip, did I?

5/19/2010 1:12 PM

 
Blogger Ret ANAV said...

Turned over DCPO to TMC bright and early Sunday morning. Made it all the way home when I realized the Small Arms keys were still around my neck. Good thing TMC has a sense of humor!

5/19/2010 1:52 PM

 
Anonymous TRF said...

Not a gaffe, but I still have the reactor safety keys for 631. I was the RCA during decommissioning, and at some point they were no longer needed.

I don't remember the specifics, but at one point the locked panel was gone. I had the keys at the time, so I kept them.

5/19/2010 2:13 PM

 
Anonymous submarines once... said...

Having been at sea for several weeks (keeping the world safe for democracy)we finally had time to run some drills. This one drill went south in a hurry, down to one vital bus. The EOOW instructs the EO to start the opposite side SSMG-yup..got dark and quiet. Post event debrief, the EO had relapsed to the "in port" procedure and opened the battery breaker to the running MG. Made for a great line in the critique-"What the EO lacked in knowledge, he more than made up for in speed!"

5/19/2010 2:32 PM

 
Blogger Dan said...

Back when I was an MM1 underway on a Bangor trident in the mid 90's, I sent an email to my chief detailing the work I'd like to get done that week. One of the items I wanted to do was replace the evaporator LP brine pump's sightglass, which we considered to be a "seawater systems tagout". The email detailed how the tagout to replace the evaporator sightglass was ready, but was very large and required CO permission, but "Captain Moonlight" was standing by to effect this 2 minute repair, if so desired. Unfortunately, due to certain eccentricities of the old Pegasus email system we used, I mistakenly included the ship's engineer on the message, who promptly replied that I should grab my chief and come to his stateroom to detail exactly how "captain moonlight" intended to go about said repairs. Not a good day, although my chief (and later, I found out, the engineer too) certainly got a hoot out of it.

5/19/2010 3:50 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I was a young ST, on leave in Montana for two weeks because my sister was graduating from UM, Nursing school no less (her classmates are another story!) Came back to the boat after leave, had the first BDW. I recommended a different watch, even the mid-watch, but it was a No Go. So, later in the morning came "Prepare to Snorkel" and those were the days when the BDW did everything. Upon Commence Snorkeling, all was good EXCEPT I hadn't bumped up the Mast...filled the boat with exhaust. Next Duty Day - I am smartly saluting each Officer as they arrive in the morning - as I'm standing POOD!!!

5/19/2010 3:50 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Conducting shiftwork RC Div maintenance on an S-girl in Pearl. I take the midwatch EDO while the EDPO has the reactor safety keys. The offgoing EDPO mistaken leaves with the keys in his pocket and heads to Hotel Street. Fortunately, he's a well-known regular at several of the establishments there. So, we just got out the phone book and called each of the strip clubs until we found him. To his credit, he made it to the boat in record time, probably to ensure he could get back into the club before last call.

5/19/2010 4:05 PM

 
Anonymous LT L said...

Not a gaffe, but I still have the reactor safety keys for 631. I was the RCA during decommissioning, and at some point they were no longer needed.

I was the last SDO on Ustafish and took the keys home with me as well; the currently are on my desk. Whenever anyone asks I attempt my best Denzel impersonation.

-LT L

5/19/2010 4:22 PM

 
Blogger Oz said...

One time during shiftwork I took the small arms locker keys with me all the way to the parking garage. Got back to the boat and turned them over before anyone even noticed they were gone - including my relief.

5/19/2010 5:00 PM

 
Blogger Oz said...

I also actually threw the aft flood control levers during a flooding drill (rather than the drill props). I was able to put them back into open before any valves went shut, though.

Then there was the time during a security drill underway where the CO wanted some keys back, and I hesitated because I wanted to check the EAL to make sure he was on it.

5/19/2010 5:03 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

While on a Cold War specop in a 637 class, I was an offgoing EM2. The other two offgoing EMs & I got tasked with rebrushing the starboard SSMG.

All went well until I was attempting to reattach a very outboard pigtail. In the days before lifted/landed lead sheets and tool lanyards, the nubby phillips head fell from my hand - out of sight. We couldn't find it anywhere. Stopped all work and searched for a couple of hours.

Soon my watch section was oncoming, so the leading first (who was in my watch team) tells the other EM and I to go to the rack and he will turnover the status to the offgoing guys.

I just get to sleep when I hear the dreaded curtain rip. Get told to head aft ASAP. Turns out the Leading First told the guys taking the turnover that he was sure the screwdriver was trapped under the SSMG, wedged against a tank, but couldn't be seen. They bought it.

The unsuspecting EMs fired up the SSMG and the EM1 observing the startup would have taken a screwdriver blade to the forehead if not for the super thick Plexiglas on the viewing port. The commutator was gouged beyond belief. The SSMG was secured for the remainder of the Op. I endured a long, uncomfortable session with the Eng, but all that came of it for me was that we started mandatory use of tool lanyards.

Good lesson learned, but certainly not in the best of circumstances

5/19/2010 7:01 PM

 
Anonymous YNC(SS), USN, Retired said...

Well, it wasn't a trick, but it sure happened anyway on the 637 class ustafish. We were in the IO and I was 12-1800 COW. We were down there driving around with eng drills happening. SCRAM, rig for reduced, headed for pd, and prepare to snorkel. It was kinda slow going up because we had a lot of ballast in aux and depth control and we just couldn't pump it out fast enough. I pressurized one depth control tank and blew out what I could, then without slowly venting, selected the other dc tank; and of course the pressurized tank immediately released all the excess air. Maybe some of you know where depth control vents on that class of boat. If you do, you can well imagine what happens two decks down from the BCP when pressure in the compartment is increased rapidly by two or three pounds or so. Well it did happen, and there was some excitement downstairs for a little while. We did make it to pd, snorkeled, and started making steam again. No harm done, just a red face at the BCP.

5/19/2010 7:30 PM

 
Anonymous laughter in manslaughter said...

@7:01: Good times with the SSMG.

Speaking of the SSMG...

Chili Dog Wednesday got the best of me as AEA and a hour and a half in I went down to the guys doing the MG monthly and asked for a break. We did the high five turnover and I went forward to make a deposit. I'm washing my hands and in walks my relief. We stared at each other for a second then both ran like hell back to the engine room.

5/19/2010 8:30 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

trf - you were on the 631 at the end??

Send me a note to let me know how you are doing.

seanroconnor@comcast.net

5/19/2010 8:45 PM

 
Anonymous xem2 said...

I had a similar "high-five turnover" incident where both parties forgot who was on watch. Ours was an AEA/Throttleman swap which resulted in both watchstanders leaving Maneuvering. EO tried to get EOOW to call, "Throttleman, come to Maneuvering," on the 2MC, but he declined.

5/19/2010 10:57 PM

 
Blogger John said...

A month after qualifying EDO, I started wearing the key on my belt like the cool guys. About an hour after taking the doods, the LELT asked to go into the RC. I diligently stationed the control point, pulled on the lanyard and started giving the order to enter the rc...

Lanyarded flashlight in hand, I realized that the RC would remain locked ajar until Joel brought back the keys from leave. I gave him a call and led with "Joel, you've taken the reactor safety keys on leave."

He replied "So I have", and the returned the keys.

I never wore the keys on my belt again.

5/20/2010 12:38 AM

 
Anonymous Big D refugee said...

While standing OOD the messenger came up to the conn and reported "The Captain sends his respects and submits your spit bottle you left in his stateroom." We had an interesting turnover after watch.

5/20/2010 12:41 AM

 
Blogger Old Salt said...

So all through my first year as SEO, I operated the EP one breaker at a time very slowly. (I am an ET) We were having grounds on shorepower that we isolated once a day. The real electricians picked up load, and opened both tie breakers at once. The day I qualified EO, I tried it to be cool like them. I opened both tie breakers, but forgot about the speed regulate thing. As both NV busses dropped out, the dial-ex phone rang. It was the CO wondering who the idiot SEO was... Back to one breaker at a time for me.

5/20/2010 2:41 AM

 
Blogger Old Salt said...

The best crew turnover gotcha I saw was on Nevada. Right when Blue relieved and Gold went on stand down, some enterprising guy went around and pulled the starters out of all the lights outside of maneuvering. The Blueies did the pre-underways, and shifted the aft lighting ABT. Presto, completely dark outside of maneuvering.

5/20/2010 2:46 AM

 
Blogger Lou said...

I had a similar "high-five turnover" incident where both parties forgot who was on watch. Ours was an AEA/Throttleman swap which resulted in both watchstanders leaving Maneuvering. EO tried to get EOOW to call, "Throttleman, come to Maneuvering," on the 2MC, but he declined.

I was the AEA in one of these situations. I realized there was a problem when I left Maneuvering and saw the Th coming through the AMR2/ ER door...

One other time I did here "Throttleman, come to Maneuvering," over the 2MC, but that was because the TH bench had broken loose during high rolls and had thrown me out of Maneuvering and into the 8K.

5/20/2010 6:59 AM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Without giving away the farm, the RL-div keys on my boat were the same series locks as the Rx safety keys (breakers and fuses, not panel).

A more knowledgeable supply guy may be able to explain.

Needless to say, RL-div was never locked out of the Rx compt.

5/20/2010 7:02 AM

 
Blogger Alexander said...

not sure what the deal is with throttlemen. I had one, who shall remain nameless, who had a propensity for exposing himself. I thusly created a new rule of "no exposed genetalia in maneuvering". So, he promptly opened the door and walked out. I was about 2 seconds from calling "Throttleman report to Maneuvering" on the 2MC before he decided to drop back in.

5/20/2010 11:22 AM

 
Anonymous Carl said...

Two items ...

Standing EDO in the yards and it was time for my RC tour. Went up, over, down and back (through the drydock tunnel). Coming up to the security guard I went to flash my badge only to find that it was gone. The guard was pleasant enough but asked me to "assume the position" and I was cuffed awaiting someone to get the badge off my jacket in maneuvering and bring it to me.

The other time, I came on watch as EDO, completed getting turnover and asked for the keys. The offgoing didn't have them and didn't know where they were. He said that I should go ahead and take the watch while he looked for them ... uh, no thanks, I'll sit here in maneuvering shooting the breeze with the SRO while you look for them. Turns out he had left them on a tank in the tunnel or right inside the RC after his RC tour. His watch guys had grabbed them "for safe keeping" and it took a _long_ time for him to find them!

Carl

5/20/2010 11:46 AM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

As the Electrical Officer back in the '80s, I used pride myself in being able to shift the Electric Plant (EPCP). As a department head I went back to Maneuvering and demonstrated a textbook shift from a FPLU to a HPLU and back ... until I went to adjust TG frequency and tripped the Port SSTG instead!

5/20/2010 6:02 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Lots of good bonehead mistakes with the electric plant. As a green MM2 standing feed station during a scram drill, I got to do a little shifting of the electric plant of my own. Plant was lined up to start the port main feed pump on the MG, I start the starboard pump, overloading the breaker and dumping the plant.

Feed station drill monitors got a little more attention in subsequent drill briefs.

5/20/2010 7:09 PM

 
Blogger Lou said...

Be careful with that coarse adjust :)

5/20/2010 7:11 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

OK, posted this before but its a classic. I was on Cincinnati in the late 80s and I went on leave/school or something. During my short abscence the boat shifted positions at the pier (probably 23 in Norfolk). So bright and early on a Monday AM (~0500) I head to the boat. The WX was bad and all brow banners were removed. POOW huddled by dog shack in pumpkin suit. I say "yo"; slide down the ladder;and head to my bunk in 21 man.
Someone is in my bunk.
Before I say anything I notice the rack curtains are not the right color and the ball caps have the wrong name (Baltimore).
I quietly go up the ladder, passing a black and bitter to the POOW while calmly mentioning I left something in my car.
An hour later I saw a buddy and tailed him to the boat.

5/20/2010 7:51 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ah, ustafish stories...

1. As RO we were going to scam the plant to recover from some maintenance evolution we had done underway. I got heavy handed with the scram switch and did full instead of group scram. A few minutes into the recovery, control called wondering why it was taking so long to recover.

2. Doing pm's on the RP&A when a lead slipped out, hit the metal rim on the deck plate and caused a cutback.

3. Not so funny, well sorta and I was only a witness as I was still a nonqual at the time. One of the senior RO's was working on a bad circuit board. A junior RO put an extra resistor on the board unnoticed and then calmly asked if that might be the problem. The RC Div Officer and up the chain found no humor in the joke and the guy was gone from the boat the next day. (Watch rotation sucked for a few weeks following)

4. One of the ELT's whacking off on the reactor in a fit of madness.

5. Standing AMSUL level watch and I had done the rig for dive and noted that the MBT vents were still locked. I don't recall which officer did the second check but he signed off. The next thing I know we are diving the boat and I'm running like hell to grab an MC to tell control the aft vents are still locked. I beat the COW to realizing there was a problem! The dive was secured and a sheepish officer shows up with keys to unlock the vents.

6. Most humorous - to me at least. We were out on a local op with full compliment of squadron folks on board to keep the sub pay coming in. Two days out and we are the only boat available to do hifh priority SpecOp. We came back three weeks later... Did I mention that the riders had only brought the clothes they had on? They got damn busy making friends (-; I smile every time I remember this one.

Old chief from the dark ages
Jerry

5/21/2010 12:32 AM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

While doing a PPIP TP&CC - I pulled the wrong fuse and scrammed the reactor. It was on my birthday too.

5/21/2010 7:27 AM

 
Anonymous Former 755/742 E div. said...

@lou - you aren't Lou L., are you?

Since people are mentioning their maintenance gaffes, I guess I should mention that I set fire to a P&A channel because the reader/supervisor during OI-55 had me install the fuses in the drawer with the a jumper still installed to ground. As soon as I saw the smoke and little flame, I pulled the fuses back out and told the reader. We got lots of extra training, such that even ten years now after getting out, I can still repeat parts of OI-55 verbatim.

That was funny, because we got an alarm at the RPCP that you don't get during OI-55. I still remember the odd tone to the SRO's voice as he announced it.

5/21/2010 10:20 AM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Not my oopses, but I was there...

1. I can't tell you how many times some stupid fellow E-divver pulled the fuses for the running 400 Hz set while at sea...so much so that verification before pulling the fuses became it's own evolution.

2. Late 1985, at sea for ORSE. I was a nub barely 3 months on board and as such was a "drill monitor". The RCLPO and I were in AMR2UL giving drill indications of a fire in the port SSTG breaker. AEA comes up from lower level and sees us there waving like crazy. He runs to the nearest phone and calls in to maneuvering: "Fire in the stbd SSTG Breaker". Well, our EO was lickety-split fast and dropped the stbd non-vitals in no time. Meanwhile, the RCLPO and I are looking at each other, looking around to verify which side of the boat we are on, then we shrug our shoulders and continue to wave smoke and fire like crazy. AEA comes over with a fire extinguisher and simulates discharging it, but the fire continues. He stands there with a blank look on his face and says to us, "Isn't the fire out? The stbd TG breaker is de-energized". We wave EVEN HARDER, of course we can't point out to him that he is an idiot since there is an ORSE board member standing right there with a big shit-eating grin on his face. AEA finally realized what is going on and runs back to the phone, "Correction, fire in the PORT SSTG breaker". Well, slap-bam and now both non-vitals are down, fire finally goes out.

After all the drills are over, we got a nice whack for not carrying out all the immediate actions for the situation (loss of both SSTGs) and a couple other related things....and we had some training similar to the 400 Hz set fuses training, only just on where PORT and STBD are.

5/21/2010 12:10 PM

 
Blogger Ret ANAV said...

Where are all the "Stupid Coner Tricks"?

5/21/2010 3:53 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I was Electrical Officer and there had been the edict that NO work was to occur while standing watch. No tagouts, PMs, nothing but watchstanding. My leading first was off-going after mid-watch and got woken up to hang the tags on the port SINS. But he had just racked out and was PISSED! So he stomps back aft through the tunnel into AMR2, turns left, and pops the breaker for the SINS ... the starboard SINS. Now both are down and he knew exactly what had happened the second he popped the breaker. Not a good day or few days after.

5/21/2010 4:26 PM

 
Anonymous Former 755/742 E div. said...

@ret anav:

"Stupid Coner Tricks"....not only redundant, but unexceptional.


Ok, ok....I'm just kidding!


How about the time some Deck Divver was painting the sail during the midwatch, and painted FTN over and over again, layer after layer, black on black.....You couldn't really see it unless you were some Squadron Commander coming down the pier the next morning.......

5/21/2010 5:12 PM

 
Blogger Old Salt said...

ORSE fire drill on USS Drum. The EMAT team rolls back to grab the injured man, and plugs in to a manifold right outside maneuvering. They all breathe in, face masks collapse, and one says we're all plugged into each other. They all unplug, turn around, and make the same chain in reverse. More sucking nothing as the senior board member watches through the curtain.

5/21/2010 6:16 PM

 
Blogger Lou said...

@ Former 755/742 E div. You would be correct, sir. Who would this be?

5/21/2010 8:17 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ustafish: We're going through SRA, so obviously very busy. The SRW needs a head call, so I offered. 10 minutes later, I realized I needed to get some paperwork I left in my rack in 21 man. I'm passing by Doc's Space at the same time the guy I relieved is heading aft.....It was a race for the tunnel door.

5/21/2010 9:01 PM

 
Blogger SJV said...

Haven't seen one as nice as starting up a nameless one off prototype with the reactor compartment hatch halfway open.

5/21/2010 9:19 PM

 
Anonymous Former 755/742 E div. said...

@lou: I was the EM2 you saved from LT M, after you and I had a smoke in Maneuvering - but as I recall, you said you'd break my legs if I ever did anything that made you ask a favor of him again.

Aruba Ruba!

Drop me a line at treeofliberty at gmail dot com.

5/22/2010 10:06 AM

 
Blogger Lou said...

@Former 755/742 E div.

I may not be the one you are looking for. You ever serve on anything that was commissioned before 1980?

5/22/2010 2:12 PM

 
Anonymous Former 755/742 E div. said...

@lou - nope, not even close. I was in 1990 - 2000.

5/22/2010 3:09 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Once when I was Weps on a 688 class I had stepped into Sonar to talk to the LCPO who was standing sonar sup. I stepped out the fwd door into CSES and then into the Command passageway where I saw the JO that I was dogging the watch with - and realized that I was the one that was OOD.

5/22/2010 3:47 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

We were pulling into Norway for liberty and they decided to take the lines topside while we had some time. Nobody threw the eye over the cleat so when a fast Norwegian ship came flying by it caused a wave that washed the lines overboard. We sent the diver in as the lines wrapped around the rudder but as he got to them they sank out of sight. We had to use the towing line as line 2 and 3. I'll never forget the towing shackle dangling from the line.

5/22/2010 7:05 PM

 
Anonymous NHSparky said...

Biggest, "Aw, shit," moment was off Pattaya on my first boat. Anchored and steaming, port and starboard. Long story short (and also not to divulge NNPI), remote operability lost for half my watch because of what had happened on previous watch, but I was still also responsible. Six-month suspended busts for me and other RT. Other RT vowed not to get qualified under that CO (and didn't--took him 23 months to qualify RO/SRO/SS). EWS (my LPO) who was with other RT got nada, made ETCS a month later. Go figure.

5/23/2010 9:43 AM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

On a turbo electric SSN after an ORSE. Not qualified as Throttleman, but could answer bells. As AEA, drills done, ORSE team snug in the bunkie, EOOW catching ZZZ's. I 'High Five' my mentor the Throttle man so he could stretch his legs. 1 1/2 - 2 hours later....EOOW comes to and grabs the 2mc...'Throttleman come to manuevering...'. Then on the 7mc'...EOOW, Captain, JA...'

5/23/2010 3:14 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I had blocked that memory for over a decade, until tonight.

in port 3 section shift work aft.

Took the midwatch. Took all 3 keys [I thought].

RC div shows up in morning, wants reactor safety key. Reach down. 1 key, 2 keys....Go check rack. Check maneuvering, check head. Flailex developing. RC Div pulling out wiring diagrams of switch to show it would require superhuman effort and a dozen NAM's and half a dozen NCMs to replace the switch if key not found.

Guy I relieved shows up on boat. Swears to mother, god and Queen Liliuokalani that he turned over three keys.

Oncoming EDO comes down with a quizzical expression on his face.

Sits down at wardroom table during a momentary lapse in what is building up to a Geek Opera in volume alone ["he lost the key he lost the key oh where is the key all is lost all is lost..."]

He looks at me, says, I woke up at the Q, went down to check my mail, and I couldn't get the box to open.

With which, he pulls out the reactor safety key off his keychain and hands it over.

Lesson learned: learn to count to three.

5/23/2010 7:56 PM

 
Anonymous Former 755/742 E div. said...

Just got reminded of a good one.


During OOD watch relief in the AUTEC:

Offgoing (Weps): ...and our closest contact is the range boat, 8Kyds.
LT T: I relieve you, sir.
Weps: I stand relieved.
...
*BANG*

LT T: "What was that?", as the range boat's towed array heads to the bottom....

5/24/2010 3:06 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

On the Autec range, "Yellow sounding 30 feet!". Followed quickly by Red sounding 15 feet!" Followed by silence from the fathometer operator to sounding orders from the OOD. Reply from the fathometer operator, "Sir this thing doesn't work in sand!!"

5/24/2010 8:17 PM

 
Anonymous Bonzo said...

Without going into details - gave the wrong answer to a right question asked by a junior ET adjusting the NI gains. I was on my way to relieve the RO. I got to the box and I said "I relieve you" and the rod bottom lights came on in the same instant. We were at ahead full on the surface with a container ship bearing down on us, and, oh yeah with COMSUBPAC riding, in the wardroom having MIDRATS. The ship passed us with at 400 yards without ever seeing us, as I was yanking rods. The TH had reacted so slowly we only had 10F to spare at commence. Worst critique I ever experienced. Thank God we weren't run over.

5/26/2010 12:00 AM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Throttlemen are the best. Had one with an unmentionable piercing and during quiet moments, he'd fill the void with a "ting, ting, ting, ting" as his bejewelled unit tapped the handwheel.

5/26/2010 12:33 PM

 
OpenID crankygeek said...

We had the the FTN on the sail on 728. Didn't go over well. A junior A-ganger also scratched it into the paint in the AMR1 pump room - also didn't fly.

Best holy-shit story involved one of our...less bright A-gang strikers. He was sent to the torpedo room to pull a valve - something on the torpedo air side, though I don't recall the details.

A little while later, here he comes down the MC3L passageway towards AMR2 carrying a reducer. With Danger tags hanging off of it.

I don't think anyone has ever reinstalled a reducer as fast as we did.

5/28/2010 10:00 AM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"You're not allowed to throw the wrong switch!"

XO wirebrushing the crew on the pier in front of the boat, immediately after the MTs open the missile hatch ... on the wrong tube because someone below confused the switch for #8 with #10 or something like that. Luckily the guys standing on the hatch that suddenly opened unexpectedly got off it before getting hurt or pinned.

"You're not allowed to throw the wrong switch!" said the same XO, two weeks before he, as senior drill monitor aft during trials, throws the wrong switch on PPIs during a failed pump shift drill, causing an unplanned bunch of rod bottom lights while coming up to flank.

6/17/2010 10:19 AM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"You're not allowed to throw the wrong switch!"

XO wirebrushing the crew on the pier in front of the boat, immediately after the MTs open the missile hatch ... on the wrong tube because someone below confused the switch for #8 with #10 or something like that. Luckily the guys standing on the hatch that suddenly opened unexpectedly got off it before getting hurt or pinned.

"You're not allowed to throw the wrong switch!" said the same XO, two weeks before he, as senior drill monitor aft during trials, throws the wrong switch on PPIs during a failed pump shift drill, causing an unplanned bunch of rod bottom lights while coming up to flank.

6/17/2010 10:19 AM

 
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1/01/2011 7:06 PM

 

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