To Tom Lehman: A Humble Suggestion
As I turned on the TV this morning to see how the Ryder Cup was going, I knew deep in my heart what I was going to see: Euro-weenies beating up on Americans. It was as I feared. How is it that the American team, with the three best players in the world, consistently gets beat by a bunch of Europeans who have to take tea breaks all the time?
The more I thought about it, the more I realized -- Europeans are just better at this "team" thing than Americans are. Then, the solution hit me -- each team Captain is allowed to pick two players to round out the team, in addition to the top ten guys in the standings. The American captain, Tom Lehman, chose a couple of golfers to fill out the team -- despite the fact that the team already had 10 golfers. What he needed to choose were people who knew about team play already -- NFL linebackers. Just imagine how well the Americans would do if Sergio Garcia knew that Ray Lewis was a threat to tackle him every time he stepped into the tee box or lined up for a putt? Would Colin Montgomerie be as likely to hole a chip shot if he knew Brian Urlacher was about to jack him up? I think not...
This year's Cup is probably already a lost cause; we need to start preparing for 2008, when we can show the world what America does best by showing Euro-golfers that "pain" is more than just getting hit in the crotch by an errant shot.
Update 1056 24 Sep: Jeez, we suck.