Miss Virginia Visits USS Virginia
I know it's only been a month since I wrote a "beauty queen visits submarine" post, but I had to write about the visit of Miss Virginia, Chinah Helmandollar, to USS Virginia (SSN 774) because of this picture:
Not only is it about the most detailed picture of the Virginia-class Ship Control Panel I've yet seen (especially if you enlarge the picture at the link), you have to admit that the crown really sells the whole thing. Plus, I like how the Eng got the Good Deal by getting to stand next to the pretty girl in this picture; normally, Eng's are reduced to just giving the "here's how the toilets work" portion of the VIP tour.(Off topic, and because a bunch of people have E-mailed me about it, here's a story about an apparently drunk yahoo off the coast of Florida who thought he saw a submarine periscope take off at 20 knots and "blow ballast" to submerge.)
posted by Bubblehead at 8:42 PM
73 Comments:
even a former flyboy know that you don't blow ballast to submerge.I want to know what that fool was smoking!
6/22/2010 9:52 PM
She looks quite edible!
6/22/2010 10:03 PM
Is it possible that what the guy claims to have seen was the result of going straight from "ahead 1/3" to "ahead full"?
6/22/2010 10:28 PM
By the way, I realize that transient wouldn't create air bubbles on the surface, but could it agitate the water enough to create a similar effect at the surface?
6/22/2010 10:30 PM
Hm- no comment by the Coast Guard, operating in the littoral- must've been a SSK sighting.
And another woman on a sub!
6/22/2010 11:43 PM
"eye to eye with a periscope"...EmmK at what range there pal?...and how drunk were you as you took the helm and maintained a sharp lookout?? I highly doubt he'd have any idea what the Fastattack was trying to do when he caught sight of her. Let's go back and ask the CG to attempt to remember the count of beer cans in the guy's boat to begin with.
Gotta admit that's a funny story however.
6/23/2010 12:28 AM
Perhaps the scope story is beer induced or it might be real. I am amazed at the rookies who seem amazed at bubbles because that is no mystery for salty death from below vets. I understand the nukies ignorance because after all, they just push but others should have more of a clue.
The VA pilot station is cute, a wonderful game cube design that the gamer geeks must really enjoy.
Horatio Hornblower
6/23/2010 4:34 AM
I'm wondering as to what the reasoning is behind the rear-view mirrors at the top of the display panels (note Miss Virginia's reflection on the inboard station's mirror).
Hmmm, maybe it's so they don't have to turn their heads around when backing up... ;-)
6/23/2010 5:50 AM
I bet There will be a new Miss Virginia Sock Puppet for the next underway in his rack.....
6/23/2010 5:58 AM
I like the clearly visible secret sticker on the laminated sheet of paper the guy sitting down is holding. I imagine it is only "secret when filled in" but the appearence is pretty bad. And is that an actual palm pilot he is holding?
6/23/2010 7:28 AM
Oh look at the pretty red sticker on the clipboard. And wtf is with the rearview mirrors?
Re the bubbles: cavitation?
6/23/2010 7:52 AM
Re. the rearview mirrors: my best guess is that they're for control room situational awareness.
Also, now that CPO's are driving the boat instead of nubs, the chiefs likely got tired of having people coming up behind them and getting unnecessarily surprised every single time.
They might also provide for some eye contact with the conning officer.
It's a still a long ways off until the ladies get onboard, otherwise I'd poke at the 'valley view' opportunities as well. That'll have to wait for another day.
6/23/2010 8:36 AM
Actually, Joel--just saw a Navy recruiting commercial last night which shows various scenes from an SSN surfacing through the ice. The SCP shots are likely trainer, but darned if they weren't pretty thorough.
6/23/2010 9:07 AM
Oh, and Horatio--I dare say the nukes know a bit more about cavitation than you do, and not just from the Throttleman's perspective. Some of us still remember Thermo from NPS--even after 22 years. Hell, I still remember my ideal versus real Mollier Diagram they taught us. And finally, shout out to ET1(SS) Meyers--"No Xenon, no credit!"
6/23/2010 9:10 AM
Oh, that's Miss Virginia.
I thought it was just another nub nuke that wanted to drive the boat!!!
STSCS(SS/SW) USN RET
6/23/2010 9:20 AM
We never wore our crowns when forward of frame 86.
Nuc IC1(SS) 1969-1975
6/23/2010 9:34 AM
Re: bubbles
Uh, opening MBT vents?
6/23/2010 9:43 AM
Re. Rearview mirrors
I wonder if the Sonargirls hear the "beep - beep - beep" when the sub is put in reverse?
6/23/2010 10:05 AM
That is not a PDA that the guy is holding. He is texting his wife telling her he has a field day that was just announced and won't be home.
6/23/2010 11:20 AM
Hey... Where has Duck been? Is he still pouting? Love Ernie
6/23/2010 11:21 AM
It appears the Secret sticker is on the clipboard, not on the paper, implying it is just a clipboard that is security rated for handling secret documents.
6/23/2010 11:33 AM
NHSparky,
Cavitation, ummm, go get em sparky but that would not be the bubble source at that depth unless the throttleman has carpal tunnel dyslexia and a seizure and the throttles are stuck up the EOOWs posterior. Maybe nukes should stick with doing what they do best, heat up water and just push.
Where is the RD, is he on vacation or maybe a long sabbatical?
Horatio Hornblower
6/23/2010 12:51 PM
RD got misty eyed a few posts ago when a poster could care or less if he was friends with Gary (CNO). Usual insanity ensued. RD grabbed his toys and went home promising to never return. WE all offered him extra cookies but have not heard quack from him.
6/23/2010 1:13 PM
Horatio--Yeah, nothing INSIDE the people tank EVER cavitates... (do I really need a /sarc tag?)
6/23/2010 1:23 PM
Just sayin'
Re. the rearview mirrors-
What's behind the passenger sun visor on your coupe?
HINT: Cosmetics
6/23/2010 2:02 PM
Rubber Ducky
Your the one
You make bath time
Lots of fun!
Rubber Ducky
I'm awfully fond of you!
Rubber Ducky
Joy of joy
When i squeeze you you make noise
That your mine
Rubber Ducky
Your my very best friend
Its true
Every Day
When I make my way to the tubby
I find a little fella whos
Cute and yella
And chubby
Rubba dub dubby!
Rubber ducky your so fine
And im lucky that your mine
Rubber ducky im awfully fond of
Rubber ducky im awfully foooond
Of you!
We all know you're still reading Joel's posts.
And we all know you are reading all of the commenter's comments.
And we know you really want to post your posts.
So if we hurt your feelings, we're sorry. We were just being mean little submariners. You should know, it's in our blood. It's part of quals.
So come on back you Rubber Ducky you.
6/23/2010 3:22 PM
Why on Earth would you want the Duck and his name-calling, elbow-throwing commentary to return?
Such a sentiment sort of reminds me of that famous line from one of the dealers to Chevy Chase in "Vegas Vacation":
"You don't know when to quit, do ya Griswold?... Here's an idea: Why don't you give me half the money your were gonna to bet, then we'll go out back, I'll kick you in the nuts, and we'll call it a day!"
If you seriously miss the Duck, just write insults and curses against yourself in the bathroom mirror, scrawl "DBF" backwards on your forehead, and join either dumbass partisan political party (doesn't matter which...both are idiotic) and spout their hatred-of-others poetry like it was your own. That'll accomplish the same thing as having the Duck back, and is much more easily wiped away forever.
6/23/2010 3:46 PM
I really enjoyed the NetGear box underneath the console!
6/23/2010 4:03 PM
Shaved or not? Pierced or not? That's what I think when I see a girl onboard.
Now when the O's get onboard, I will be thinking the same thing...keeping it shaved or letting it grow out?
Heard during a zone inspection"
"LT Splittail, excuse me ma'am, your tramp stamp is showing"
Bring on the chicks, foolin with NUB's just ain't fun anymore!
6/23/2010 4:39 PM
Somehow the sheer ridiculousness of those pictures make me glad I retired last year. The uniforms, the SCP game console, the tiara.
That picture of the wardroom is hard to look at.
6/23/2010 4:49 PM
Your attention to detail is saddening. The Secret sticker is on the laptop. Since Virginia class is designed to be paperless the pilot and co-pilot use the SSM of the ship's LAN. The palm pilot is for log taking.
6/23/2010 5:43 PM
You guys do know the new SUBPAC has been named, right?
6/23/2010 6:38 PM
The new SUBPAC is named?
6/23/2010 6:43 PM
fastattackchief,
You mean they really are paperless, that must suck in so many ways. What do they do instead of produce a million worthless paper files? So the CO's reports are jsut beamed in on a Palm? How about Officer/Chief call, just a beam of the ole palm pilot? What a wonderful Game Cube it must all be. Old timers wanting to touch switches, levers, buttons, and valves would be disappointed somewhat.
6/23/2010 6:49 PM
@ HH: Believe me, any nuc with half a brain knows that cavitation bubbles collapse long before they make the surface. Why don't you dazzle us with your coner brilliance, and offer a plausible explanation, since you imply there is one...
6/23/2010 7:59 PM
There are private subs in service in the Florida area these days
6/23/2010 9:13 PM
Mark,
Nucs should not get their slide rules in such an uproar over such trivial crap.
Bubbles, could be many sources but vents would make the most sense. Of course, this could be a beer induced sighting but stranger things have happened.
Horatio Hornblower
6/24/2010 5:36 AM
Dear Enough with the Duck said...
"Why on Earth would you want the Duck and his name-calling, elbow-throwing commentary to return?"
Because we were mean to him and because we're now living in a kinder world. Do you really want to hurt the Duck?
Seriously, although I totally disagree with most of what he spews, at least he presents his points in an intelligent way. So unlike the idiot Mulligan, there's at least an opportunity to gain something from his comments.
6/24/2010 8:29 AM
Dear John
I miss you Rubber. Come on back
Love
Gary
CNO
6/24/2010 8:38 AM
The Duck must be recharging his battery for a robust return to teaching the boot campers and NUBs how its done. Get charged up Duck with an equalizer and come get some NUB sternway.
Duck Fan or just delerious
6/24/2010 9:25 AM
That chick's face does not bode well for the rest of Virginia's chicks. But don't get me wrong--I would totally jerk off into her mouth or greased butthole.
6/24/2010 10:03 AM
John
Want to come over and play some cribbage? I have some open time now.
Sinc
Stanley
P.S I met with Barrack yesterday and he says Quack, I mean Hello.
6/24/2010 10:18 AM
4NM off Hollywood Beach would be fairly shallow water iirc. Doubtful that an SSN would be there much less steaming submerged at high speed.
6/24/2010 12:53 PM
Stanley,
No can do. Broke both middle fingers against my computer screen while flipping off all those smartass, Rubber-Ducky-wannabes on "The Stupid Shall Be Punished."
Tough break with that Rolling Stone interview. If staffers not ever saying stupid things is the new limbo bar for staying employed, I hold little hope for B.O.'s future, what with VP Bite Me as his right-hand staffer man.
BTW, don't feel too bad about falling for Michael Hastings' schtick. As quoted in a 2008 GQ piece, he prefers to "get sources drunk and singing, then report back the behind-the-scenes story.” You just bit into the same hook he's used many times before.
Feel free to come on down to Cocoa Beach and we'll get some Johnny Walker under our belts. My flipping fingers may be broken, but I can still pour a bottle...hot, straight, and normal. We'll just make it a point to not invite that ball licking fellow Democrat from Rolling Stone.
JB
P.S. Don't worry about shooting yourself in the foot by voting for Obama. At least we're getting gays in the military and women on submarines in the deal.
6/24/2010 2:11 PM
Hey John errrr Rubber errrrr Trojan
Good to have you back. Listen Robert and I advised Barrack to keep Stan, but he was like, No way homies.. Anyway count us both in for that drink
Sinc
Mike and Robert
P.S. Gary sends hugs
6/24/2010 2:35 PM
Back to our favorite topic. If anyone thinks it's going to be easy to integrate women on submarines, just read the asinine, vulgar, inappropriate comments about Miss Virginia.
These are the attitudes that will have to be dealt with.
6/24/2010 3:01 PM
If by "dealt with" you mean violating my first amendment rights! (that's the one that deals with freedom of speech, in case you don't know).
6/24/2010 3:57 PM
"Back to our favorite topic. If anyone thinks it's going to be easy to integrate women on submarines, just read the asinine, vulgar, inappropriate comments about Miss Virginia.
These are the attitudes that will have to be dealt with."
Dude, you are either gay or have never been on a submarine if those comments bother you. The only reason she is talked about like that is because you mother is not in the picture.
Lighten up!
6/24/2010 4:57 PM
Mike and Robert,
Muito obrigado for joining us in Cocoa Beach. Will get the poker cards and chips out for the four of us. Hopefully the 'green table' setting won't be too scary for Stan. Ha ha.
Joking aside, thanks also for backing up Stan the man with B.O. Hard to believe that a fellow Democrat would go and violate basic PC assclown commentary like that, but you break it (the news), you own it.
Of course, Stan's a big boy and takes no shit. He'll get over this...hopefully by running on the Dem ticket somewhere, God bless his pointed head.
Tell Gary I said to get his fucking hands out of his pockets and come on down. I love taking money from skimmers (no offense, Mike).
Speaking of which, let's extend that invite to Ray and any black shoe admiral with his foot on the submarine force's neck. I'll feel kinda bad taking money from those who are beating up those zero-mission, glorified water-boilers...but I need the chips as I'm looking for new real estate...hopefully sans petroleum products.
And in that regard, remember: the smoking lamp is out...at least until I get sufficient stand-off distance from BP's ground zero.
JB
6/24/2010 5:01 PM
Just sayin' said...
"Also, now that CPO's are driving the boat instead of nubs, the chiefs likely got tired of having people coming up behind them and getting unnecessarily surprised every single time."
Say what? Chief's are standing helm and planes? Or was he just havin' fun with us?
I did retire in March 1987, and those were the most junior forward watch-stations. Just like helm and lee helm were when I was on skimmers. Maybe stuff has changed since then.
6/24/2010 6:37 PM
Oh yes, has it changed. They are not "helm and planes" on VIRGINIA class - they are "pilot and co-pilot" and manned by CPOs (or studly E-6s in some cases). And there is no DOOW or COW. Just the two of them. They can make it if they try. Just the two of them (just the two of them).
6/24/2010 7:03 PM
YNC: The titles on a Virginia class are pilot and co-pilot, not helmsman and planesman.
The controls are what you see -- high tech, fly-by-wire technology coupled with shipboard local-area-networks via computer. It's no longer a job for just some monkey.
Having the most junior nub on the boat driving it never made any sense to me, frankly. Sometimes change works...sometimes it just makes holes in your pockets.
6/24/2010 7:04 PM
I guess that makes sense to me. Ship's Control Party is Ship's Control Party. If it works, so be it.
Thanks for helping me enter the 1990's plus.
I'm guessing the OOD is still the OOD. Do they answer to him individually? Is there a COW; my old station, on this class?
6/24/2010 7:25 PM
No DOOW, and no COW on the Virginia class. The E-7 billets are still there, but those stations are combined with the pilot and co-pilot.
Both stations answer to the OOD, a position required by Navy Regs (and difficult to imagine a boat operating without).
6/24/2010 7:28 PM
Thanks. I like the idea of occasional eye contact via the mirrors. I'm quite sure it works better that way. Helps a lot with situational awareness as well.
They do let us Yeo folks be in control from time to time don't they? Or are we now no longer part of the crew?
All of my Navy career I was a ship's control watch stander. When in Vietnam I carried a rifle as well.
6/24/2010 9:29 PM
Trojan Rubber
HEYYYYYYYYYYYYYY can I join the party now that I kicked Specters ass. Does a 3 star count? I am ready to take some money from Mike. He does not like me too much from the days at the octagon errrrrrr pentagon. Oh and duckie you can call me Joe, however, I prefer strapper Mullen call me Mr Sestek.
Love
Joe
6/25/2010 5:16 AM
No offense, Joe...but this one's strictly for unelected officials only.
Gotta draw the line somewhere. After recent events, the mil-std boys are wanting to let their hair down, and gosh knows you elected types are showing some pretty thin skin these days. Wouldn't want someone to say "pee-pee head" or similar after a few cold ones and have some political boy toy act like their tiny nuts are in a vice.
We'll catch you after November if you happen to get lucky in that regard. Hell, we'll even invite Barry and Hair Plugs to come along as well. Me-thinks they're gonna need a stiff one or two after the next round of elections...and no I'm not talking man-meat. Yet. Let's get DADT in the crapper first.
Spero Meliora,
JB
6/25/2010 6:41 AM
Crap Trojan
You won't let the mighty Joe S in the game.... Ok, How about me? Friends call me Rat (call sign) Gary knows me well, top gun does too. Let me know if you know who I am. Impress me sir, impress me. I can tell storys during cards about Mikey.
Robert "Rat"
P.S. Gary has one hand in his pocket the other one showing a peace sign. (alanis)
6/25/2010 7:44 AM
Prior to my recent retirement last year, I was stationed on a VA class. As a qualified pilot I hope to clear up a few misconceptions noted here. SCP it is not, it is now called the SCS (Ship Control Station). The ship is designed to drive itself via the Auto mode. You can change course/depth via a keypad. It's pretty cool. It'll even drive you to PD, provided that you don't dork up the trim guestimate for the PD journey. It will even do your trim calculations for you and if commanded it will also do the trimming for you. The sailor sitting next to the hottie is most likely the Belowdecks (note the sideways seating arrangement and ICAS Palm for logs). Rear view mirrors are not part of the construction process. They are purchased and installed by the crew. Ours were bought from JC Whitney for $10 each. Fortunately we bought 3, 'cause an unnamed FTCM (Dave) decided to drop test the shatterproof properties of the mirror. It failed. The mirrors provide a means to see who's coming up behind you with the knife for the back (green book). With the Pilot/Co-pilot being manned by senior people, there are no longer any nonrates assigned to the VA class. Paperless yes, but we still managed to kill a lot of trees. All of my Co-pilots were required to maintain a Brazilian with no piercings.
6/25/2010 8:13 AM
I meant to say Crap, trojan as in darn. Sorry, I was not addressing you with a new name...
Rat
6/25/2010 8:46 AM
Rat,
You and I go way back, of course. Hell, Douglas MacArthur and I go way back. Which, given your Pac-fleet connection these days, is kind of interesting.
I still laugh every time I watch Top Gun and see Tom Cruise give you the finger, at least as best he's able to provide one with that runt body of his. Now there's a DADT candidate if I ever saw one.
All in jest, of course. Anything Hollywood does is of course better and more real and more perfect than reality. And their politics are certainly winning as well.
But you can't come to my party this time, Rat. You might qualify in terms of having a hard-on for submariners, but this one's black shoes only. If you're not wearing one of those coveted Surface Warfare pins with the crossed sex toys, you're clearly not in the 'in' crowd these days.
You see, I only work with winners, not losers. The surface force is winning these days, so Ray, Mike, Gary et cetera are my home boys. When red-headed twink midgets have the helm, I'll be in their back pocket, too. In a BIG way.
Now, aviation - your thing - appears to be in its glideslope these days. Not much for a Slim Pickens-style bomb rider to do in the age of Tomahawk cruise missiles. Only black shoes float my rubber duck. They're winners. Not losers. Like those water-boiling, Rickover clones.
DBF,
JB
6/25/2010 9:24 AM
Very Good Trojan Man
I accept your decline. I still have my Topgun flight hat signed and i my office. Which by the way has better weather than Cocoa. Give my old Boss Mike a big kiss for me. He knows how I roll. As far as Ray.... I would prefer Adm Bruce's Father in law to come play some cards? Now if you get this, I will bow down. Bruce is an 1120 and his father in law in honorable... Oh and with my knowledge of the inside, guess me first name.
Rat
6/25/2010 9:32 AM
Wow, all of these cool insider rookie discussions are enough to send the thrill up the leg of a stud bull milker.
The RD should come back, if only to spank the diaper wearing BS touting morons.
RD Fan
6/25/2010 9:46 AM
Rat/Bob: You're talking about Grooms' father-in-law? You'll need to justify that one to me a bit better than that. The party's getting a little crowded. Next thing I know, you'll be wanting me to invite that loser republican senator who hates nuclear submarines just fine, but who's only claim to fame is crash-landing in Vietnam.
RD Fan: Glad to accommodate. I didn't know you were into the bull milking thing, but glad your leg is enjoying the ride.
In flagrante delicto,
JB
6/25/2010 10:20 AM
Trojan Duck aka "Fowl Condom",
No bull milking here, that is reserved for ring knockers and non-brown shoe types.
Will you be having Dickus Maximus and Poseiden Suckus at your next card game?
RD Fan
6/25/2010 5:56 PM
RD Fan,
Regrettably, both are far too busy "working with" Democrat Party candidates this year to attend one of my little soirées. Besides, there's a gerbil shortage here in Cocoa Beach, and I understand that they can't get much done without them.
Plus, word is that they'll be working hot and heavy on DADT rescission whenever they're not head down a buns up with our fellow Democrats...so they're truly burning the candle at both ends. Both are former brown shoe nasal radiators, BTW...though I guess that's no big shock.
DBF,
JB
6/25/2010 7:09 PM
Trojan Duck,
You speak much truth. The Gerbil shortage has caused many problems with the liberals. They have exhausted the small farm animals and have transitioned to inanimate objects. Rumor has it that yard decorations such as stautues are disappearing at an alarming rate.
Since the DADT issue has surfaced stock in anal lube and chap stick has increased 1000%. The training pipeline for medical staff will need to include "anal rupture restoration procedures." Logistically advanced helicoils will be needed to meet 90 day loadouts. Modern initiations will include "Tickle Partys."
RD Fan
6/26/2010 6:57 AM
That is a crown? I thought that it was the "Bull" Ensign?
Is that an arcade in a mall?
6/27/2010 7:17 PM
Is that Peyton Manning holding the Palm Pilot?
6/28/2010 3:24 PM
You know the short O-3 to the far right in the wardroom picture has a serious Napoleon complex.
6/28/2010 3:26 PM
You know the short O-3 to the far right in the wardroom picture has a serious Napoleon complex.
He's not much shorter than COMSUBPAC, but still, he'd have to grow an inch or two to meet minimum height requirements for a Napoleon complex.
6/28/2010 6:19 PM
Re: Virginia Class SCP comments.
Most everyone above is correct.
1) The "Secret" sticker is on a laptop used to interface with the Ship Control System (SCS), and it's closed.
2) The Rearview Mirrors are installed at new construction and are of the long variety (like in a NASCAR). The purpose, as commented, is to maintain eye contact with the OOD because a) the pilot & co-pilot chairs are high-backed (like an aircraft) and b) the OOD is behind a bank of large flat screens; so normal line-of-sight is altered.
6/29/2010 11:34 AM
Lopok at PO3/SS taking his logs... on a Palm Pilot... what I would give to have those conveniences on my boat...
7/01/2010 9:17 PM
Post a Comment
<< Home