Bravely Ran Away, Away
So there I was... on liberty in Hobart, Tasmania, while on the good ship Topeka in January 1993. We were anchored out, so the nukes were standing port and starboard port and starboard, while the JOs were 3 section. We had three non-qual Ensigns on board, and didn't feel that it was right that they skate out while we were standing duty, so we put them on the beach guard. As such, the officer on beach guard duty had to wander around town making sure no crewmembers were getting into trouble. One young ensign took his duties very seriously; as he wandered into one bar (in his Service Dress Blues, of course) looking for any crewmembers in trouble, he found instead... a bachelorette party.
The young ladies saw him walk in as well, and the bride-to-be somehow got it in her head that this young ensign was supposed to be the entertainment for her party. The party-goers called him over, and proceeded to try to take off his uniform; one even presented him what he described as a "big-ass rubber" that they said he'd be needing later. Now, there were no other crewmen in the bar, so he probably could have done whatever he wanted to, but, being dedicated, he stopped the young ladies after they'd gotten his jacket and shirt off, and before they got his pants completely down. He said he was engaged, and couldn't do this to his girlfriend, or while he was on duty. The girls seemed disappointed, but let him go.
This ensign was dedicated, but also inexperienced. It was at this point that he made his greatest mistake. I had just gotten back from a quiet night of liberty (I remember at one point standing on top of the bar and screaming to the crowd, "Hey, I'm free-balling", and being rewarded with tumultuous applause) but I still had some sound advice for the young ensign when he related the events of the previous evening. I said, "Dan, if you're in that situation again, you've got to either completely protect your uniform, or go for it. The second worst thing you can do is get halfway undressed and then back out. The absolute worst thing you could have done, though, is to back out halfway through, and then come back and tell your friends about it."
He was knows as "Brave Sir Robin" by the entire crew for the rest of the deployment...