The Submarine Song and CPO Initiation
I've gotten a couple of E-mails this week from newly selected prospective Chief Petty Officers asking for the words to "The Submarine Song" ("Submarines once, submarines twice, holy jumpin'..."). It seems I'm the number one Google entry for a number of Submarine Song-related searches, so they're writing to me to find the words of the song, in order to impress the crusty old CPOs who will be initiating them. Good move on their part.
They've been coming here in response to part of this post from January; in it, I blogged:
"Q3. Do you know the words to The Submarine Song? You know, the one that starts "Submarines once, submarines twice..."
A3. Yes, I do know the words, including both versions of the second verse. No, I will not put it on this blog. Some submarine secrets are so sacred that we can't run the risk of letting them out to the general public. Now, if you are a submariner who's forgotten the words, and would like me to send them to you, just drop me a note at the address [in my profile], along with your sub qual history and enough submarine-specific jargon to let me know you're the real thing. Indicate if you want me to include the second verse. (Warning: The second verse of the Submarine song is obscene, disgusting, and disturbing on so many levels.) Fair warning to Googlers: This is not the Submarine Song. Neither is this, although it's actually pretty good...
...and no, this little ditty, sung to the tune of "The Green Berets", isn't the Submarine Song either:
'Silver Dolphins on their chest,
These are men, America's best;
One hundred men, she'll have today,
But only three, the normal way.' "
Anyway, I'm moving this back up to the top to help this year's crop of new Chiefs learn a disturbing part of their heritage. And I'm proud to do so. If you'd like the words, E-mail me at the address in my profile (the address in the original link still works, but I mostly get offers to help import lots of money from Nigeria there). Just remember, though: It's only fun to sing the Submarine Song until somebody gets hurt... and then it's hilarious, if the hurt person is a skimmer.