The Sea Is Full Of Danger...
Over at Rontini's BBS, a poster put up a one of the classics from the SubmarineSailor.com humor page that I thought was a perfect ice-breaker for a lazy October Sunday morning:
THE TEN MOST DANGEROUS THINGS ON A SUBMARINE
10. An A-ganger who can actually read.
9. A mechanic with anything electrical.
8. The 3" launcher and anything that goes in it.
7. The COB ('nuff said).
6. Any time a LT says, "I was just thinking..."
5. An Ensign who says, "Based on my experience....."
4. Any of the unenlightened group known as non-quals.
3. A Sonar Supe who says, "Trust me, it's biologics."
2. A skinny MS
1. Anybody saying, "Hey, watch this s*** !"
The list is a little outdated (MS's are now "Culinary Specialists" and the new boats have bigger launchers). To this list, I would add "An officer with a tool" -- this was always the thing that scared me the most. Anyway, feel free to add your own in the comments, or submit your favorite adjective used to describe the aforementioned non-quals (e.g. "air-breathing", "rack-taking", "scrubber loading", etc.).
Going deep...
Update 0945 09 Oct: Here's another great quote from the humor page:
OOD, at PD in sea state 1: "Dive, Mark your depth! Belay that, I'll get it off the rudder!"
It reminded me of the smart-ass litany I used to use on any "wandering helmsman":
Me: "Helm, mark your head."
Helm: "Ship's head is xxx."
Me; "Helm, mark ordered course."
Helm: "Ordered course is yyy." (where yyy ≠ xxx by quite a bit)
Me: "Helm... mind your helm."
posted by Bubblehead at 9:30 AM
8 Comments:
A shipmate wearing uniform stenciled with name of sailor from another squadron.
10/09/2005 10:36 AM
I spent a year and a half working for 38N (nuc repair) on the Simon Lake. One of the guys I knew told me that I was the scariest thing he'd ever seen: A radioman walking out of the RC carrying a handful of wrenches....
RM1(SS) (ret)
10/09/2005 6:01 PM
Speaking as a NQ Rider Scum, one of my favorite moments was on a spec-op on a 688. We were somewhere naughty and I noticed that we'd broached... big time accoding to the depth meter above my head. The skipper was sitting next to me waiting for his traffic.
I turned to him as only a 2nd class spook can and said, "Captain, since we've reached cruising altitude will they be coming around with the drinks cart?"
Needless to say, you could hear the screaming all the way back in reactor-land when he hit the control room.
And, as a bonus, I earned the best look ever from the RMCM for having the sack to say it. Being short was wonderful....
10/09/2005 6:38 PM
Scariest thing I ever saw was unpon awaking for a midwatch and walking out in the Missile Compartment on USS Michigan. As I rubbed the sleep from my eyes, I noticed the A Gangers pouring out of AMR#2 screaming, "It's going to blow!"
I went back to bed.
10/09/2005 11:53 PM
I have to add some.
1. Any O-Ganger who knows, or think they know, to much about the O2 Generator.
2. The Academy Grad who boasts “I graduated 1st in my class”.
3. The non-qual who states “You can’t put me on the dink list, my dad is a Master Chief”. (and a skimmer to boot).
That Damn Good Looking Aganger From Iowa
10/10/2005 9:46 AM
Half: The 3" launcher is for "countermeasures" and flares; the pyro locker is right next to it, so you end up with the pyros being open right next to a tube with only one valve to sea pressure when it's firing or loading...
10/11/2005 2:45 AM
Anything moving in Blood Alley.
1/03/2006 3:45 AM
Two deck div nubs (one of them is a junior A-ganger in my division)walking through the boat. The junior A-ganger says to the other nub "I'm in charge cause I have more qual points!" My reply to this was "what does that mean, you're gonna Junior-vise him?"----Scary!
2/26/2006 12:25 AM
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