Movie Review: Superman Returns
SubBasket, DeepDiver, and I saw "Superman Returns" on Friday night, and had three quite different reactions. SubBasket, a [redacted] year old wife and mother, thought it was really good. DeepDiver, a 14 year old boy, thought is was pretty good. And I thought it was probably one of the worst movies I've seen in a long time.
Please note that I didn't dislike it because they weren't "pro-American" enough. It just wasn't a good movie -- I wasn't inspired to care about the characters, I was bored during the long breaks between action sequences, there was hardly any humor, and it didn't have nearly enough explosions. I'm willing to suspend disbelief when I see a superhero movie, but this one went way out into left field. For example, Superman's ability to fly has always been due, I've assumed, to his incredibly strong leg muscles. Here, he just has an innate ability to hover -- what's up with that? This new Superman has a little too much of a weird "stalker" quality about him that I'm sure makes him more "vulnerable" for that portion of the movie-going public who look for hidden sensitivity in brooding, dangerous men. I just want them to beat up bad guys while engaging in witty repartee.
I admit that I might be wrong about this movie -- girlfriday liked it, but she's a known person of gender. I'm going to split my rating up into two parts: as a movie to take your (female) date to, I'll give it a 3 out of 5. As a guy movie, I'll give it a 2 -- two middle fingers, boldly extended.
(Disclaimer: I was in a slightly bad mood going into the movie because the theater's ticket office didn't have their credit card system working, so I had to use the ATM in the lobby to get cash to pay for the tickets, and I had to pay a $1.50 service charge there plus whatever my bank's going to charge me for using an off-network ATM, and on top of that the theater wouldn't even comp me any snacks when I complained to the manager about the extra charge in hopes of getting free stuff. Plus, I had to wait in the ATM line behind a couple who didn't know how to use the ATM, so we missed the showing in the digital theater. Of course, the movie probably would have only sucked in more vivid color with the digital projector.)
Update 1539 01 July: Michelle Malkin didn't like the movie much, either.