Keeping the blogosphere posted on the goings on of the world of submarines since late 2004... and mocking and belittling general foolishness wherever it may be found. Idaho's first and foremost submarine blog. (If you don't like something on this blog, please E-mail me; don't call me at home.)

Monday, November 15, 2010

That Explains Everything!

If you're one of those people who believes nothing is a coincidence, here's a theory that explains both of the maritime news stories of last week -- the cruise ship power loss and the airplane contrails off the coast of Los Angeles. Excerpt:
A new report circulating in the Kremlin today prepared for Prime Minister Putin by Director Anatoly Perminov of the Russian Federal Space Agency states that an Arkon-1 military satellite monitoring the western coastal regions of North America detected an “EMP anomalous event” occurring on November 8th at 0600 Pacific Standard Time (-8 hours GMT) that bore the “direct signature” of a YJ-62 subsonic anti-ship missile fired from a Chinese People’s Liberation Navy Type 041 submarine (NATO code name Yuan-Class) known to be patrolling approximately 200 kilometers off United States coast.
Nearly 11 hours after this EMP “event”, this report further says, Arkon-1 then detected a BGM-109 (Tomahawk) subsonic cruise missile launched from a US Navy Ohio-Class submarine operating off the coast of California [photo bottom left] on a “training mission” from its home port located at US Navy’s Kitsap Base in Washington State and was enroute to the largest American Naval Base on the US west coast in San Diego, California.
Note: A Russian military intelligence (GRU) addendum to this report states that the “training mission” the Ohio-Class submarine was on is related to a new US law passed this year allowing for the first time in history for women to serve on US Navy subs and was an “operational exercise” testing female Naval Officers competence prior to their first “operational deployment”.
The “immediate effect” of the Chinese Navy’s firing of their EMP missile, this report continues, was the “catastrophic crippling” of the US based cruise ship Carnival Splendor [photo 3rd left] that stranded its nearly 4,500 passengers and crew in a “dead in the water” boat and prompting the Americans to send the US Navy’s Ronald Reagan aircraft carrier, warplanes, and supply aircraft to protect it from further attack after all of its electronic systems were destroyed.
It must be sad to be so divorced from reality that you have to look for a "hidden hand" behind every event. Sometimes, stuff breaks, and sometimes atmospheric conditions create an interesting-looking contrail.

What are your favorite conspiracy theories?


Blogger Unknown said...

Amen Bubble head

11/15/2010 5:35 PM

Blogger Vigilis said...

BH, "It must be sad to be so divorced from reality that you have to look for a "hidden hand" behind every event."

True, but it is even sadder to own a mind closed to unorthodox possibilities. Thinking within a customary box of logic brings few victories and even less progress.

Your strong convictions are nonetheless noted, and some of us may find curious how little, nay nonexistent, is any evidence you offer to postulate your strong disbelief in alternative explanations.

Considering that your original posting received this comment, some of us may even find your stance unusually lame:

"former U.S. SSN Weps said...
A few immediate thoughts come to mind on the missile launch off of L.A.:

1) More than likely, some of the guys here know what it was but can't/won't say right now...perhaps as it should be.

2) Almost certainly not a U.S. military asset launch, or otherwise NORAD-the-denier would look mighty out-of-control and/or stupid later on once the launcher falls under the spotlight ..."

11/15/2010 6:26 PM

Anonymous Casual Observer said...

By far, my UN-favorite conspiracy theorists: those friggin' 9-11 "truthers".

Seriously, some of these people should be shot...yes, I said "shot"...for aiding and abetting the enemy. It is wartime, and they are undermining the U.S.

If anyone thinks their actions are inconsequential, just survey the web a bit. Some people -- in no small quantity -- really believe that shit.

11/15/2010 6:37 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am too close to the problem (sometimes a bad place to be) to say much. However, agree that most, yes I said most, of the story is definately "tinfoil hat" type stuff. Now, let your "experienced" imaginations figure out whats true.

11/15/2010 7:39 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow. Even when Joel posts a conspiracy theory that even my 10 month old daughter would have trouble believing, Vigilis clings to the possibility of some kind of shadow plan perpetuated by Illuminati neo-McCarthyist clown shoe manufacturers. And then he insults Joel a little bit, to boot.

To start my own little conspiracy theory, I'm beginning to guess that Vigilis was actually one of those late '80's Soviet Union spies planted in the U.S. that was stranded after the wall fell. Now, he continues the agenda of his Russian handlers by promoting crackpot theories of massive, coordinated conspiracies within the American military and the McDonalds industrial complex.

/sarcasm off. In all honesty, to answer Joel's question, my favorite conspiracy theory is the Naval Academy backed DFC's of ROTC and OCS commanding officers to promote women in the Navy. Or the latest ridiculous thing to pop up on this blog in place of rational discussion.

11/15/2010 9:00 PM

Blogger Vigilis said...

Anon @ 9:00 PM

Actually, there may soon be another reason "to promote women in the Navy."

Curiously, the US based cruise ship Carnival Splendor evoked some news from Lloyd's Register recently. Did you see it?

Female sailors with nuclear propulsion training may be in demand by the cruise ship industry sooner than most have thought. Carnival atmosphere no longer tolerated.

11/15/2010 11:25 PM

Anonymous 3383 said...

What, are "alternative explanations" the new "alternative medicine"? Okay, I'll listen, just give us decent evidence.

11/15/2010 11:53 PM

Anonymous 5of9 said...

This is a collection of really stupid stories. I'll tweak back my RSS and ignore the noise.

11/16/2010 6:41 AM

Blogger Bubblehead said...

I'll admit that I don't believe alternate explanations that require the belief that a) the Chinese government would risk annihilation by launching a missile 35nm off our coast as a "demonstration" of some sort, or b) that a North Korean submarine could even make it across the Pacific Ocean, never mind undetected.

11/16/2010 7:43 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Now if they can just fit Jimmy Hoffa's disappearance into the theory, they may have something there.

11/16/2010 11:39 AM

Anonymous pc assclown said...

“/sarcasm off. In all honesty, to answer Joel's question, my favorite conspiracy theory is the Naval Academy backed DFC's of ROTC and OCS commanding officers to promote women in the Navy. Or the latest ridiculous thing to pop up on this blog in place of rational discussion.”

Who wants all rational discussion? If that’s all that’s served up here, it’d be mighty boring. Irrational discussion lightens things up and adds an element of humor/sarcasm to the room.

11/16/2010 12:07 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

My all time fave is the gooberment line on TWA 800. Despite damn near a thousand eye witnesses and video evidence purchased by MSNBC (subsequently retrieved by MIBs) showing a missile strike, the fuel tank conspiracy theory continues to flutter about the internet. Go figure.

11/16/2010 5:32 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

TWA 800 was shotdown by the Kursk, and the USS Memphis taugh her a lesson.

11/16/2010 8:03 PM

Anonymous Scout706 said...

The best marijuana grows in the NYC subway, (all the stuff flushed down)but you can't get to it because of the giant mutant albino alligators.

11/17/2010 10:21 AM

Blogger Srvd_SSN_CO said...

Vigilis is an intelligent person.

The US Government was behind 9/11.

Oswald did not act alone.

We always want to believe there is a more complex answer, but the fact is sometimes s&it happens. And looking for the unorthodox is not the same as believing some totally idiotic story about testing women with a land attack cruise missile against a surface ship that somehow failed to kill anyone. Frakking idiots.

11/17/2010 5:21 PM

Blogger Srvd_SSN_CO said...

hey anon @8:03pm, so, exactly what ship or airplane killed TWA800 and managed to keep the whole story quiet? More frakking idiocy...go join the truthers and the birthers, the grownups are trying to talk. Oh, and while you are being quiet, try to remember the earth is really round and does, in fact, orbit the sun.

11/17/2010 5:25 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

hey anon @8:03pm, so, exactly what ship or airplane killed TWA800 and managed to keep the whole story quiet?

Ummm Captain Obvious, he stated the answer to your question. Can you not read? And you commanded a boat? No wonder we're in the deep darks.

11/17/2010 7:00 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Russians always look for the hidden hand. When so many bad things happen to your (choose as many as applicable) country, people, Navy, medical system, etc etc, there's got to be someone or something behind it, right? It just couldn't be your own fault.

11/18/2010 5:50 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

The Russians have a grand tradition of cheaply destabilizing the US whenever they can, just to screw with us. Think Vietnam era anti-war protestors being funded by Russia for the cheapest PSYOP campaign (in regards to it's divisive effect on the population) done in modern times. That funding of the Vietnam anti-war protest is well documented, btw, not a conspiracy theory.

So, now, for the cost email? Someone is going to burn resources to worry about correlating these things? PSYOP mission off to a grand start.

A few ppl already figured out the contrail, it was an airline flight on the horizon. Same thing happened the next day when the same flight went by at the same time of day.

A really cool conspiracy theory (and a good read) is Red Star Rogue. The Glomar Explorer, the ship that was supposed to raise manganese nodules...I mean, supposed to raise a sunken Russian sub (as detailed in Blind Man's Bluff) didn't actually fail. The sub was raised, and the book goes into quite alot of specifics that point to HOW the Russian Golf was lost, and what the US did with the info gained from the raising of the sub.

I don't want to give away the major points. I would call that one a "must read" for anyone that liked Blind Man's Bluff. I read it in one night, couldn't put it down.

I love conspiracy theories, but I especially love the REAL conspiracies. Just because you are paranoid doesn't mean people AREN'T out to get you.

-Escaped Nuke
somewhere in the DC area

11/19/2010 1:12 PM

Blogger Vigilis said...

Srvd SSN CO tried (above) to associate me with the ridiculous in a clever way.

Contrary to his subtle suggestions, and for the record, I have NEVER entertained nor written one word to the effect that any of the absurd stuff HE mentions next to my name could be true.

It is garbage, and now we all know who puts it out. Where is your honor?

11/19/2010 4:50 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Things that make ya go, "Hmmmmm."

11/19/2010 6:42 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

My favorites are TWA 800, and OKC. What makes them both interesting is that they both have mil experts contradicting the official line. A GEN recognized as an explosives expert testified before Congress, and an FCC(SW) witnessed the TWA shot.
When I saw the LA "contrail" my first thought was another runaway from San Clemente Is. Talos / drone to MX anyone?

Ret - FC1(SW)

11/20/2010 1:35 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm surprised at how uncritical a lot of the people on here are. If the plume was really just a contrail, wouldn't it be fairly simple to determine which international flight was responsible? Wouldn't that have been done already?

Where were the contrails from the ~5-10 other flights which were in the immediate vicinity at the same time?

Maybe things have changed in the last 5 years, but when I was in we had a hard time telling fishermen from PLAN submarines: it's not an outrageous idea that our acoustic systems/people missed a stealthy transit from the Yellow Sea to Socal.

The PLA is the most powerful bureacracy in China. Seems to me that some general could have gotten the idea to send a signal, and rammed it through whatever committee was responsible for foreign relations.

I'm all about getting rid of wasteful defense spending (submarines included), but this is clear support for arresting the SSN hull count sink rate, or accelerating UUV R&D efforts.

11/22/2010 9:24 AM

Blogger jv said...

Sometimes info is gathered and put together for the simple purpose of letting people explore the possibilities...and indeed a closed mind is a sad thing...That said, some of my postings are sarcastic as in Sochra Faul...However behind this particular story were some very good sources...and now look what happened...We have a currency war with China and Russia on one side against the dollar~Most currency wars become real wars~

As most blogs/sites have a disclaimer so does mine~Closed minds are a dangerous thing,and some people just like to create controversy with a post like this one which I call trolling~


11/24/2010 12:50 PM


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