Conspiracy Theories -- We Love 'Em!

When there's no interesting new submarine news on the 'net, I like to go out and look for conspiracy theorists. People who feel so powerless that they feel they must blame some wide-reaching, all-powerful cabal for their personal or their group's political failures amuse me, and I enjoy holding them up as subjects of mockery and derision. The fun thing is that you often don't have to say anything at all; just let their own words out them as idiots. Today, here are some of the theories floating around at my favorite lurking ground, Democratic Underground:

Bush is a Nazi! "Take a look at the family of George Walker Bush. Their treachery turns up everywhere from arming Hitler through the Eisenhower (Nixon)-CIA backed Bay of Pigs invasion to the assassination of President John F. Kennedy through the escalation of Vietnam and crookedly on through to the present outrage, the pretzeldunce."

Poll: Were 9/11 planes flown by remote control? "Remember, not only did the hijackers have to navigate the planes largely by geographic landmarks, then steer the planes precisely into the WTC towers and Pentagon, but they also had to descend 10,000-20,000 feet in the course of their piloting. This is not a simple feat. None of the hijackers pilots were described as particularly good pilots by their flight instructors, and several were thought to be very weak pilots. None of the hijackers pilots were known to have flown any sort of large jet airplane before."

Pre-planted explosives brought down WTC 7! "I'm thoroughly convinced that our unelected government either actively participated in or allowed the attacks on September 11 to happen on purpose. My wife, while despising the misadministration with all her heart, is not so convinced. However, both of us believe there was a cover-up by the US regarding the full truth of 9/11. (I don't see how anyone could not. 28 censored pages in the congressional report on 9/11 is proof of a cover-up. The only question is what are they hiding and who does it implicate?)"

And, from the right: Are Black Helicopters controlled by the UN conspiring to subjugate Americans in a New World Order? (Not from today, but lots of amusing reading from the links on this page.) "Citizens for U.N. Base Disclosure (C.U.N.B.D.) is firmly dedicated to uncovering the truth about the alleged top-secret military activity, which may involve the United Nations, taking place within the Sedona, Arizona area. Please read through our reports on this web site, and contact us for more information at the email addresses. A black helicopter base has been discovered near Sedona, Arizona. Various details have been assembled about it. This situation must not be ignored. Its purpose must be explained to the citizens of the United States, the reasons for its illegal operations explained, then all its illegal operations must be ended IMMEDIATELY."

But of all the conspiracies, Iowahawk has uncovered the most far-reaching conspiracy in the history of the world, ripped from today's headlines! Check it out NOW! And then join me at BlameBush to discuss what you've learned...

Going deep to avoid the helicopters...