Keeping the blogosphere posted on the goings on of the world of submarines since late 2004... and mocking and belittling general foolishness wherever it may be found. Idaho's first and foremost submarine blog. (If you don't like something on this blog, please E-mail me; don't call me at home.)

Friday, March 04, 2005

World's Greatest Mystery Solved

I've come up with the answer to one of life's greatest mysteries... but first, Idaho cats in the news. A story from MSNBC details a car ride taken by an Idaho pussycat; it wasn't an ordinary ride...

..."Hutchison was driving along Interstate 15 one day recently when a motorist kept trying to get her attention and pointing to the roof of her car.
"She said she was wary of the man, but wondered if perhaps her ski rack might have come loose.
She pulled over to the side, but kept her doors locked and the motor running.
"The man pulled up behind her. Hutchinson rolled down her window to hear the man frantically shouting, "Your cat! Your cat!"

"He reached for the roof of her car and handed the shocked Hutchinson her orange tabby.
She had driven about 10 miles with the cat on top of the car, and didn't even notice the feline when she stopped for gas."

I don't have any photographs of this event, but there are some photos you should check out over at bothenook's place. bo also passes on a link to the complete Calvin and Hobbes cartoon library; check it out before it goes away!

OK, I've checked Google, so I think I'm the first to post this: the answer to one of life's great mysteries. What do you put in your dryer that you don't get back? The answer, obviously, is socks. What do you get out of your dryer that you don't put in? Again, just as obviously, the answer is lint. Therefore, applying Occam's Razor, the reason behind this discrepancy is clear: Dryers contain a "sock to lint converter" that turns your socks into lint. Skeptics who might say that you always get lint, but don't always lose a sock, should consider that this machine most likely distributes it's product little by little over each load, but only takes a new sock when it's running low. Anyone who would like to argue with my irrefutable logic is invited to do so in the comments.

Staying at PD...


Blogger ninme said...

Hahaha she stopped for GAS!!

"Oh mummy, thank god you stopped for me! Oh, wait, you're busy. Okay, I'll wait. Done yet? No, gotta go pay, I'm okay, I can wait. Oh good you're back! Thank god because my little white paws were getting sooo tiwed and hey wait why'd you... you forgot me! What about me! No don't turn the engine on! Augh not again!!!"

3/04/2005 11:00 PM

Blogger Bubblehead said...

I think that's probably about as close to figuring out what goes on inside a cat's head as anything I've seen. They are quite confusing creatures, as I'm sure we are to them. I was hanging blinds the other day in a window our young cat likes to sleep in, and she watched me the whole time, probably wondering what had gotten into my mind to change my normal behavior and do this...

3/05/2005 9:03 AM

Blogger half said...

The dryer is an opening to a parallel universe, socks are used in barter, throw in a sock and go check your sofa for change, it's commerce.

3/07/2005 11:31 AM

Blogger ninme said...


3/07/2005 11:36 AM

Blogger MrTorrance said...

I'll go with half's theory on the parallel universe, but I don't think the socks are used for a bartering system. I found a sock in my laundry the other day that I lost maybe 6 months ago. I've been holding onto it's match because it's my favorite pair of dress socks, but I can't help wonder where it has been...
My theory is that socks begin life simple enough. They are simply cotten foot covers, but as time goes on and the juices your foot produces meld with the fabric of the once unawear sock it gains a will or desire to live. Once this desire grows strong enough it ventures off on it's own into the parallel universe whose vortex happens to be in the dryer. As the sock looses it collection of foot juice it must venture back. As not all socks make it back it must be assumed that some get trapped in the other universe or possibly that they have lost so much of ther power that the passage back into our relm turns them into lint. Thus explaing why sometimes there's a lot of lint after a load and sometimes ther isn't.

I guess it's also possible they just get missplaced or something. :-)

ps. cats are nuts...a dog would of just jumped off, of course I've never seen a dog sitting on a car.

3/07/2005 2:02 PM

Blogger Bubblehead said...

mrtorrance -- welcome! How's life at the old cube farm? Do they miss me yet? I did five days at my new job, and now I'm in the middle of five days off! (Shift work rocks!)
Anyway, both half and mrtorrance are correct that the parallel universe theory is gaining wider acceptance, especially as our knowledge of the 7 extra dimensions that exist around us matures. While I'm also inclined to agree with the "socks become self-aware" theory, I would submit that it's actually men's whitey-tightie underwear that are more likely to develop a consciousness, and yet we don't see them disappearing (they just may have a more finally developed sense of loyalty though, just as men can grow inordinately attached to their underwear, refusing to toss them until they are more hole than skivvie). I digress -- while most of these comments are valuable, I think mrtorrance's thought that "they just get misplaced" is a classical overapplication of Occam's Razor, in the same way that the simplest explanation for the moon landings if that they were faked.

3/07/2005 2:52 PM

Blogger ninme said...

Okay, this conversation is beginning to descend into something very icky indeed.

*ninme makes a graceful exit*

3/07/2005 2:59 PM

Blogger MrTorrance said...

"cube farm" still sucks. The office banter is far less entertaining in your absence.

After looking up the term "Occam's Razor" I have come to the realization that you, Bubblehead, are smarter than I. I bow down in my minimalist cloud of confusion.
I would like to agree with your whitey-tightie theory, but to believe in such a thing as enchanted underwear would be a test in futility. Underwear can't walk, nor does it occuppy the capacity to speak such as the many sock puppets of the world. I also believe the foot holds a persons true essance wich can be demonstrated simply by removing one's sock.

3/07/2005 4:08 PM


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