Chicoutimi and the Russians

I received some forwarded E-mails this week regarding a theory by a Canadian citizen that HMCS Chicoutimi was hit by a Russian "scalar weapon", which was the actual cause for the fire that broke out. Excerpts from the E-mail:

"Russia sent a fleet to sea. They assembled off Iceland. Their only aircraft carrier and three other ships assembled at the strategic high point of the Northern Hemisphere. Launch times would be cut by over half from Iceland. Something happened however. Agence-France-Press and the Icelandic Review reported three lifeboats were recovered by the Icelandic Coast Guard. There was an oil slick. The Russians did not notify the UN or other nations of their intentions as required. What happened up there? Nobody is saying...
"That same week, H.M.C.S. Chicoutimi caught fire. She would have to have crossed the path of the Russian fleet to return home.
"Is there a connection? I believe the nature of the fire was so severe that the use of a scalar weapon cannot be ruled out. The unsheathed wires or open hatches were catalysts not causes. After the circuits should have blown, the ship was stilled charged and golf ball sized sparks were reported shooting down companionways.
"The photo of her published in The Toronto Star Jan.10th, 2005 shows a rather significant dent to explain to daddy on the starboard side between the conning tower and the bow. Is there something we should know Mr. Martin? You went to Russia the next day. Do we have insurance for this or is it no fault?"

My couple dozen regular readers probably know how I feel about conspiracy theories (basically, "That which can be ascribed to incompetence should not be blamed on malice"). Let's look at the "facts". It turns out that the Russians did have a Battle Group at sea in October 2004. From globalsecurity.org:
"The most ambitious naval exercises in the mid-Atlantic ever performed by the Russian Navy included the Navy's flagship nuclear-powered heavy cruiser, the Pyotr Veliky, our only aircraft carrier currently in service, the Admiral Kuznetsov, the cruiser Marshal Ustinov, the destroyer Admiral Ushakov, a tanker and two support ships. The group arrived in the waters about 20nm off Iceland on 05 October, and returned home on 01 November 2004. "

HMCS Chicoutimi caught fire on 05 October, so that would match the Russian groups arrival in the area. This fact is probably enough to get the conspiracy theorists started. However, the Chicoutimi was at about 52 degrees north (200km west of Scotland), and Iceland is about 65N, so if the Russians were really where the story above says they were on 05 October, that would put them about 800 miles from the Canadian sub.

We can also look at the mention of "scalar weapons" in the E-mail. These are basically a postulated weapons system ("extended electromagnetics") that the enemies of the West have that are more powerful than anything we have. A short "explanation" is located here (you may need to disable your browser's idiocy filter to visit this site); a quick look at the rest of that site also provides a great wealth of information on current U.S. concentration camps, plans for the government to implant us with chips, and a discussion of aliens as fallen angels. In short, not exactly the type of web site I'd normally go to for infomation in any way connected with reality. In fact, it looks like essentially all sites that discuss scalar weapons are a couple cans short of a six-pack.

Last but not least, why would the Russians attack a surfaced Canadian sub with an unknown superweapon when they've got to know that there's a good chance an American nuclear boat is pretty close by?

Going deep...

Update 1000 20 April: I realize that I forgot to mention that it was the webmaster of The Sub Report who forwarded the E-mails to me and asked if I had any thoughts on them, so he was the real inspiration for this debunking.