Keeping the blogosphere posted on the goings on of the world of submarines since late 2004... and mocking and belittling general foolishness wherever it may be found. Idaho's first and foremost submarine blog. (If you don't like something on this blog, please E-mail me; don't call me at home.)

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

DVD Review: "Sons of Provo"

Since there seems to be a dearth of submarine news, I figured I'd fall back on my old standby, movie reviews. (I previously reviewed Stealth and The Brothers Grimm, with fairly negative results.) Unfortunately, I haven't been to any movies lately; I did see a new DVD last week, though, so I'll review that.

Sons of Provo is the latest in a recent string of Mormon-themed comedies. Wait! Don't click away -- I'm serious; Mormons really do make, and watch, comedies. Plus, I'm looking to do an unscientific experiment, and I'll need your help. (More on that later.) Mormon film-making has been fast and furious lately, and the comedies they're putting out are really good. (The best of the bunch, IMHO, is Singles Ward. Although Napoleon Dynamite doesn't deal with Mormon themes explicitly, the producers are Mormon, and there are enough "inside references" where you can see that LDS types were involved.)

Back to Sons of Provo. Did you like This is Spinal Tap? Sons of Provo is in the same genre -- a "mockumentary" of a band that just doesn't get it. In this case, the movie features three Mormon "boy-band" members (Group name: "Everclean") who sing horribly funny songs, and don't understand just how ridiculous the lyrics are. Here are some examples:

"Love Me, But Don't Show Me" (sung to the tune of any Back Street Boys ballad)
"These two weeks together have been the sweetest of my life,
My hearts prayer was answered when you agreed to be my wife.
Your love's like a cancer, girl, cuz I got no resistance,
There's only one answer girl: You got to keep your distance!
"Love me, but don't show me.

I want our wedding night to be right.
Miss me, but don't kiss me.
If we start to makin' out girl,
You won't be wearin' white."

And the equally horrible "Sweet Spirit":
"She, doesn't turn your head when she walks down the hall.
She, may not be the slender beauty fair and tall.
She, has some acne scars that populate her skin.
But she has beauty emanating deeply from within.
"Ooo, sweet spirit, You're so.... nice.

You may not appear it, But your soul's a pearl of great price.
You're such a good person, Sincere and true.
You just keep rehearsin' And one day you might say: "I do." (That would be so nice for you) "

Finally, the unabashedly ridiculous "Spiritchal As Me":
"I like to take notes in Sacrament Meeting
But I'm not just some regular guy.
I've memorized the names of every Prophet and Apostle
And I've never told a lie.
When I'm eating lunch in the school cafeteria I bow my head and pray out loud.
I'm so humble and meek,
And possessing such heavenly qualities makes me proud.
"Maybe, someday, You will see

You could be as Spiritchal as me..."

Trust me, it's hilarious. Now, here's my unscientific test. I think a lot of the jokes in the movie are things that only Mormons would know are funny, whereas others (the deaf/mute vocal music teacher) should give anyone a chuckle. What I'd like is for some non-Mormon reader to rent the film at your local video store (the closer you are to Utah and Idaho, probably the better chance you'll have that it'll be available). Drop me a line and let me know if you thought it was a good flick. I'm betting you will, but I could be wrong, and the scene where the young woman, interviewed leaving the concert because rap music "doesn't come from a very nice place", is only funny to the target audience.

Bottom line: I give Sons of Provo 4 plural wives out of 5.

Update 0217 27 Sep: Apropos of nothing, I noticed when I was checking my referral log that my review of Stealth mentioned above is the #2 result on Yahoo Search for "Jessica Biel's belly button". Sweet...


Blogger esryle said...

Everybody is going to think there is a Mormon conspiracy with me commenting on this topic. I will tell you it is difficult renting these movies if you are not out in LDS central. NetFlix usually carries most of them. Block Buster occasionally will put out a few for rent.

9/27/2005 8:44 AM

Blogger PigBoatSailor said...

Who the h&!! looks up Jessica Beil's belly button??

And nope, my video store doesn't carry the vid. Go fig...

9/27/2005 8:46 AM

Anonymous said...

well, if all else fails, any non-mormon wanting to test this movie should order it from their site and then send it to me if they hate it.
at least I'll get the jokes.

9/24/2006 10:21 PM

Anonymous rando972 said...

What is really sad is that on the Deseret Book website where they are promoting the video - it actually mentions that the lyrics have a "good message"!

Clearly they just don't get it. This is self-depracating humor - not a film with a message!

4/25/2008 7:09 AM


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