Keeping the blogosphere posted on the goings on of the world of submarines since late 2004... and mocking and belittling general foolishness wherever it may be found. Idaho's first and foremost submarine blog. (If you don't like something on this blog, please E-mail me; don't call me at home.)

Saturday, April 01, 2006

Breaking News From The BBC

From the "BBC News" website, posted today:

US Department of Defence defends submarine name

Strengthening relations between wartime allies basis for naming latest US Virginia class after British Princess.

A long, black submarine lurks beneath the ocean waves, carrying a full arsenal of ship-killing weapons. No other class of warship can find it, fight it, or even defend against it. If current US military planners have their way, the latest of these fearsome weapons will be named the USS Princess Diana.

"We have a destroyer named after Winston Churchill, and the 72nd Secretary of the Navy was named England (Gordon England), why can't we honor the late Princess Diana with the power and majesty of a Virginia class US sub," says Navy Spokesman Andrew Williams.

Veteran submariners are strongly inclined to disagree. "What's next, we name a carrier after the Queen?" objects Captain Wilfred Miller. "I understand political payoffs are a necessary evil but couldn't we honorably bestow the moniker Princess Diana on a cargo dingy or a humanitarian resupply vessel?"

"Think of the positives," urged Andrew Woolhouse, Director of Citizens Against Landmines, Poverty, and Social Disenfranchisement. "Consider the moral effect on the enemy when one of their warships is sunk by the Princess Diana."...

...With the evolution of naval technology, new ship types replaced others, and the naming system changed accordingly. As warships became incredibly expensive, politicians were key in obtaining funding. Accordingly, US submarines began taking the names of states instrumental in their existence. The first of the post-Seawolf class subs was named Virginia, the next Texas. And now, in a move designed to win British public approval, Princess Diana.

Williams insists, "Diana was a fearless crusader, a brave and strong individual. I see no reason why this opportunity to show solidarity with our mates across the pond should find objection."

Shocked, I am, shocked at this news! So shocked, in fact, that I think I'll wait until after midnight to comment on it coherently. I can just imagine what will happen when the guys from SubSim get ahold of this news...


Blogger Rob said...

On a positive note, Sir Elton John could do his Dianaized version of "Candle in the Wind" for the commissioning...

4/02/2006 12:20 AM

Blogger G-Man said...

This is crazy. A sub named after a women! It goes against the grain.

On the other hand. Lets see if the government is watching these blogs. The following is unclassified info, but to some young wet under the ears it's a major infraction. The USS DOLPHIN AGSS-555 is stationed in San Diego,CA. The USS Jefferson City SSN 759 is stationed in San Diego. This is public information. Lets see what happans.

4/02/2006 5:19 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

How about honoring the "Wind Talkers" from world war II. The Navjo had a language no one could decipher and was of benefit to the Marines -- not sub but close.

With that heritage in mind, name a boat "Up Yours" or a like minded sentament, in Navajo.

4/02/2006 5:42 AM

Blogger Bubblehead said...

I've always liked the concept of honoring Native Americans with ships, not necessarily with the names, but with the ship's mottos. When I was on Connecticut, we were trying to come up with a motto, and when my "Our only regret is that our enemies have but one life to give for their country" got shot down, I started lobbying for something in the Pequot language -- my vote was for "We want to have sex with your sister", since no one would know what it was really saying anyway.

4/02/2006 7:09 AM

Anonymous Byron Audler said...

And now that it's not April Fools Day, BH can get back to business again;)

4/02/2006 7:16 AM

Blogger Bubblehead said...

I totally had this great April Fools day post I was going to put up about how Charlie Sheen had figured out that FDR had wired the Arizona to blow up during the 12/7 Japanese "attack" on Pearl Harbor, but there was basketball to watch, and other things to do... Maybe next year.

4/02/2006 7:22 AM

Anonymous Byron Audler said...


4/02/2006 9:09 AM


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