Keeping the blogosphere posted on the goings on of the world of submarines since late 2004... and mocking and belittling general foolishness wherever it may be found. Idaho's first and foremost submarine blog. (If you don't like something on this blog, please E-mail me; don't call me at home.)

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Submariners: Unknown World Record Holders?

As all submariners know, whenever we're asked how deep our submarines can go, all we can say is "in excess of 800 feet"; it becomes very second-nature for us to say this, much the same way that "in excess of 25 knots" and "I can neither confirm nor deny the presence of..." are. While not revealing exactly how much deeper than 800 feet we can go makes sense from an OPSEC perspective, it now appears that it's costing us some props from the World Record Book people.

Check out this Reuters article about how a Brit singer recently set a "verified world record" by performing an underwater concert:
Singer Katie Melua swapped the recording studio for a North Sea gas rig in her successful bid to set a new record for the deepest underwater concert, the Guinness World Record organisation said on Tuesday.
Melua and her five-member band performed two concerts of one hour each on Monday at a verified depth of 303 metres underwater to an audience made up of staff from the Statoil Troll A platform.
Doing the math, it looks like 303 meters is about 994 feet. While we don't know how deep our submarines actually go, of course, if for some reason our submarines can go enough "in excess of 800 feet" to get to greater depths than what the concert was held at, a submariner may be the rightful holder of this World Record. What is a "concert", anyway? Wouldn't someone singing a cheerful ditty like "The Ballad of the Silver Dolphins" to one of his buddies count? And if he did it at some depth below 994 feet, he could be famous now -- if the Navy would only verify it (which they won't).

Who knows how many other World Records submariners could be recognized for if not for the secrecy surrounding the Force: Most disturbing discussion of bodily functions by people being paid to work? Biggest duct tape ball that contains a person? Most disgusting nicknames for normal food items? The possibilities are endless...

Bell-ringer 2109 05 Oct: Vigilis has more on the subject.

13 Comments:

Blogger Chap said...

And there should be a record specifically for singing that song while on the $#!773r, wearing an EAB, at test depth backing down.

Specifically.

'Cause, you know, it might have been, you know, done.

Or so I've heard.

10/04/2006 12:37 AM

 
Anonymous rebootinit said...

Shipmate, let's discuss the amount of time in an EAB on the lower level shitter at test depth? hahahaha......I would love to see a YOUTUBE video of that.

10/04/2006 2:02 AM

 
Blogger reddog said...

Katie Melua is good. I'm suprised she would do a publicity stunt like this.

I don't know about "Brit singer", her style is American. She was born in Georgia, USSR.

10/04/2006 2:16 AM

 
Blogger SonarMan said...

All of us who served aboard submarines know we broke more important records than stupid ass ones like hers... and more.

We should be content in the knowledge that we did so, and that whenever we get together, acknowledge to eachother that we did.

We know what we did, and we need no special kudos from the non-hackers of the world to prove we're special. We wear Dolphins that already prove that.

That we did these special things is none of the rest of the world's business in my opinion. Let them keep guessing as to what we did, and where and when we did it.

We're the Silent Service. We don't need to brag. We just let'em keep on guessing.

10/04/2006 6:28 AM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

One year underway at Halloween, 4 guys on the boat dressed up as the Village People and did a bit on the mess decks. It was hilarious. The IC1 as the group's indian then had to take the watch as COW, and the XO had him relieved to go put on something more than a loin cloth. XO let him keep the feathered headdress though.

RM1/SS

10/04/2006 7:22 AM

 
Blogger Bubblehead said...

Sonarman,
I'm afraid I must respectfully disagree. I for one want to be listed in the World Record book for "deepest soiling of a patrol sock". (Although, to be honest, Don Walsh probably holds that particular record -- he is a submariner, after all, and I'm sure he recognized the opportunity for immortality.)

10/04/2006 7:54 AM

 
Blogger SonarMan said...

Well, if you want to "go there" with the more juvenile achievements, fine, it's your blog. I prefer to remember the loftier accomplishments for God and Country.

But I'm curious to know what you'd going to tell your kids when they see your name in the Guinness Book of World Records and ask, "Dad, what's a 'patrol sock'?"

Much like a criminal record, that's one I prefer to avoid.

10/04/2006 11:42 AM

 
Blogger PigBoatSailor said...

Dammit Bubblehead, you made me snort my Dr. Pepper through my nose. "Deepest soiling" indeed...

10/04/2006 2:14 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I know for a fact there is a record for most current from a megger going through one's scrotum at test depth (in the darkness of the sonar shack theres a nice arc!)

10/05/2006 12:09 AM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sonarman -

I can only quote from "Stripes":
Lighten up Francis!"

Butch

10/05/2006 9:34 AM

 
Blogger SonarMan said...

Lighten up, AYE.

Hey, I just have pride in my accomplishments that I can describe to family at the dinner table, OK?

Well, meggering is pretty funny...

10/05/2006 12:22 PM

 
Blogger Vigilis said...

Good one, BH. Whether enlightening or not, I have linked to your post and taken it in a couple of new directions, here:
http://aquilinefocus.blogspot.com/2006/10/of-unknown-records-force-and-dolphin.html

10/05/2006 2:03 PM

 
Blogger Subsunk said...

As part of one halfway night video, the DCA asked me to come up and give him a head call. The CO had approved the skit, so we rigged for deep submergence, and made our way to test depth. Once there, we passed the order to prepare and to shift propulsion to the EPM. Then I ordered a back 1/3 bell, followed by all stop and shift back to the mains.

After that we answered up bells again and proceeded to something less than 800 ft. The DCA returned to the CONN and announced loudly, "Thanks for letting me go take a dump, ENG", which his video camera had dutifully recorded. He relieved me and then looked into his camera and said, "Now I really do have more time on the crapper backing down at Test Depth than any one of you morons."

And I guess he was correct that he does. Today he is the Commanding Officer of USS Florida.

Greg, you're a show off. Press on, youngster.

Subsunk out.

10/08/2006 1:31 PM

 

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