PTU... More Than Just A Uniform, It's A Lifestyle

Last August, I made fun of the Navy's announcement that they were coming out with an official Physical Training Uniform, and snarkily implied that there were many more important things the Navy could be doing rather than come up with a T-shirt and shorts Sailors would have to wear when running around the base. Now that the new design has officially been unveiled, I'm man enough to admit I was wrong. First, let's check out what the new uniform looks like:

I'll be the first to admit that nothing says "Sailor" more than egg-yolk yellow shirts and blue shorts that are only about 5 years out of date, length-wise. Imagine you're an Al Qaeda terrorist planning to attack a U.S. naval base, when suddenly you're confronted with a whole formation of people running towards you looking like overgrown Cub Scouts. Will you be able to denonate your bomb? Of course not... you'll figure that any country that is rich enough to afford both long-sleeve and mid-length sleeve versions of an official PT uniform is too mighty to ever be defeated. You'd slink off in shame is what you'd do.

Now that our newest weapon has been revealed, everyone wants to know when we're going to put it to use. As always, the Navy website has the answer:

The new PTUs will begin hitting the Navy, with Recruit Training Command, in April, and will phase into the rest of the fleet between May and September. Sailors will be able to pick up their uniforms at Navy Exchanges around the world, costing $50 for the required two sets of PTUs.

I'm glad that our newest Warriors will be getting the uniforms first -- since they're also armed with BC glasses coming out of Boot Camp, they'll present a picture of fierceness that will render even the toughest jihadi helpless. All this for only $50 out of pocket? It'd be a steal at half the price!

But that's probably not your most immediate concern. You're surely asking yourself, "When will Admirals get these snazzy duds?" The story answers that question too:

Simultaneous with the official fleet rollout of the uniform, flag officers, commanding officers and command master chiefs will have the opportunity to purchase their PTUs by calling the Navy exchange uniform call center.
"It's called leading from the front," said Carroll when explaining why a commanding officer can get his PTUs right away. "The Navy wants to lead its Sailors from the top."

Mr. Carroll speaks the truth; the Navy wants to lead its Sailors from both the front and from the top. Anything else would be sodomy.