Choke Yourself!
El Capitan reprints a list of "213 Things You Can't Do In The Military". Here's a sampling:
48. I may not use public masturbation as a tool to demonstrate a flaw in a command decision.
49. Not allowed to trade military equipment for 'magic beans'.
50. Not allowed to sell magic beans during duty hours.
51. Not allowed to quote 'Dr Seuss' on military operations.
52. Not allowed to yell 'Take that, Cobra' at the rifle range.
53. Not allowed to quote 'Full Metal Jacket ' at the rifle range.
54. 'Napalm sticks to kids' is *not* a motivational phrase.
55. An order to 'Put Kiwi on my boots' does *not* involve fruit.
56. An order to 'Make my Boots black and shiny' does not involve electrical tape.
57. The proper response to a lawful order is not 'Why?'
58. The following words and phrases may not be used in a cadence- Budding sexuality, necrophilia, I hate everyone in this formation and wish they were dead, sexual lubrication, black earth mother, all Marines are latent homosexuals, Tantric yoga, Gotterdammerung, Korean hooker, Eskimo Nell, we've all got jackboots now, slut puppy, or any references to squid.
As they say... read the whole thing.
Going deep...
posted by Bubblehead at 11:16 PM
2 Comments:
Does she have the one with the plant that says "War is not good for children and other living things"? There's another quote that Marines like to use that she might like: "Kill something every day, so matter how small or insignificant it may be... it helps maintain proficiency".
4/27/2005 1:44 PM
SPC "Skippy" Schwartz is my hero. By the way, If you post those in your mail room, consider doing them one at a time. Doing it that way will ensure that you can put up one each weekday for nearly a year. That should send the old bitty into a perpetual tizzy. I'D LOVE TO SEE THAT!
4/27/2005 8:03 PM
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