Noonan... Noonan...

Earlier, I discussed a challenge that Willyshake had sent my way. bothenook got his homework turned in earlier, so I figure I'd better get started. Here's what I came up with:

If I could be a musician... I would totally be a great back-up singer. I'd start my own tribute band, "... and the Pips". We'd go from town to town, singing only the back-up parts: "...Leavin' on a midnight train... Ooh, ooh... I know you will... Woo, hoo!"

If I could be a professor... I'd forget about trying to get off the island, and work on getting Mary-Anne off behind the palm trees.

If I could be an athlete... I'd be a golfer who revolutionizes the game. Just imagine the advantage you had if you were taunting all your opponents, setting off firecrackers during their backswing, and hiring a big-ass caddie to body-check them on the green.

If I could be a back-up dancer... I still wouldn't be able to top what bothenook came up with.

And finally,
If I could be a linguist... I'd try to figure out why the hell "you" and "ewe" are pronounced the same way. It does not make sense!

At this point I'm supposed to assign three other people to do this, but I'm really not as good as meme-blogging as I should be. However, I do think that Ninme would do a really good job at working through this...

Going deep...

Update 1900 07 May: I got tasked to do this again by Liberal Larry at Blame Bush!, and the results are quite disturbing. (For my regular readers, remember: BlameBush is a satire site.)