Keeping the blogosphere posted on the goings on of the world of submarines since late 2004... and mocking and belittling general foolishness wherever it may be found. Idaho's first and foremost submarine blog. (If you don't like something on this blog, please E-mail me; don't call me at home.)

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

"Last Resort" First Episode

For those who are interested, here is the full first episode of the upcoming ABC series "Last Resort" about boomer Sailors:

If anyone gets all the way through it, let us know what you think in the comments. One frequent commenter who's watched it E-mailed that he thought it wasn't as bad as it could have been. The opening scene where the OOD makes all the announcements the COW is supposed to when submerging doesn't give me much hope...


Anonymous Anonymous said...

It was ridiculously unrealistic from any perspective, but it could be an interesting show, nonetheless.

Best line so far though was spoken by the COB, though, when he said "The Stupid Will Be Punished".

9/12/2012 11:05 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm a Marine, not a submariner, and yet I spotted dozens of wrong things in the first 20 minutes. Then I quit watching. I suggest that if you watch it, you disengage your reality filters and have a frosty adult beverage on hand.

9/12/2012 11:36 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Pretty good drama, not so technically or militarily accurate. Not horrible though.

9/12/2012 11:45 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I agree with anon 11:45. I
put on the same hat when I watch
stuff like Battleship. Pretty damn
good show from that perspective. I've
seen FAR WORSE submarine shows. It'll
be hard to go more than one season
but I guess we'll see?


9/13/2012 12:04 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Typical hollywood dramatization of the military. I'm amused by what they think we do when we cross the equator. I also find it funny that when they start taking on water, they spout off areas to seal like an episode of The Next Generation. Could be fun to watch.

9/13/2012 12:23 AM

Blogger MT1(SS)WidgetHead said...

Wow I guess we're attempting to use our imaginations here. What ever happened to a PRE-UNDERWAY CHECKLIST??

Could we possibly complete a Missile Load as well before getting underway?

If you issue me two shots of Patron Silver and 2 or 3 Heinekens (Yes, I like skunk beer) then maybe I can watch this show in an unflinching manner. I suppose it's good for entertainment but that's about it.

9/13/2012 12:36 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Agree with first commenter, TSSBP was the best line. I wonder if one of the writers is a fan.

Obviously, no one bothered to do any research on boomer operations. There is too much open source information out there to fuck that up, unless you don't care. I felt like I was watching two Chair Force officers standing in a silo with their precious missile firing keys.

9/13/2012 6:11 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Interesting. Give them time and the tighten up the Navyish stuff. Look how long it was on JAG before Rabb ever got a hair cut.

9/13/2012 7:57 AM

Anonymous tmarks11 said...

Surprised they didn't hire a retired O-6 as a technical advisor; maybe he couldn't change the stupidity of the over-all plot, but he could at least get the routine on-watch dialogue right.

Or maybe they did, and ignored him as they must have done on the other submarine films of the last three decades.

9/13/2012 8:43 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

My vote for most'realistic' sub movie to date is 'Up Periscope'. Most realistic sub movie not filmed on a sub (because it captures the personalities sooo well) is 'Office Space'. My vote for best sub movie is 'Das Boot'.

9/13/2012 8:45 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Correction...'Down Periscope'

9/13/2012 8:45 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Realistic? Any YouTube episode of 'Hey, Shipwreck'

9/13/2012 8:49 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Of course there's dramtic license. Who would really want to watch day-to-day life of any military organization?

9/13/2012 8:59 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

You know no real submariner was consulted... There were NO verbatim repeatbacks.

9/13/2012 9:40 AM

Blogger Bubblehead said...

I suggested several years ago an idea for a reality-based submarine show, but for some reason Hollywood never called.

9/13/2012 12:45 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Interesting, I suspended disbelief and watched, if I didn't know any better it has the potential to be an interesting series. I have liked Andre Braugher as an actor since I saw him in "Glory" The line I liked best was his when he asked "what happened to the country I grew up in?"

9/13/2012 1:44 PM

Anonymous PC not said...

You guys aren't watching this closely enough for the bullshit PC agenda it pushes.

Example #1: Two petty officers are caught by a female Lieutenant (a very non-credible one at that) making jokes about possible future dialogue ("oh, captain, will you really let me drive the boat?) and talking trash about her being an admiral's daughter.

Later on, one of the same POs is shot dead by the same female Lieutenant. Why? Well, because he was one of those damn red-neck MALES, by golly, who don't agree with all the non-operational PC reasons women were put on the boats.

Oh,'s just a movie. No ridiculous Hollywood agenda here. Move along, move along...

9/13/2012 2:20 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...


Following your link to your 2005 reality show episodes synopsis' post, you kind of promised, after your alse episode idea to come up with more. Lots of time has ticked off since 2005. Have you developed anything new?

9/13/2012 2:28 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow! Look at all the babes. Where do I sign up?

9/13/2012 3:54 PM

Blogger Vigilis said...

BH, your conclusion suffices for active duty submariners who believe they alone have been schooled in the entire truth of U.S. submarining. They alone may have been schooled in 'par for the course' submarining, but they should realize there is also much more most may never have been told. Is "Last Resort" riddled with several gross inaccuracies? YES!

Do those shortcomings detract from its "Women are just as capable as men" purpose? Hardly. Forget the "racks", SEALs, and COB named COBB. Lt. Shepard never falls short of expectations, so desperate liberal politicians need not advocate lowering performance standards for women volunteers (fitness and sea duty requirements) to attain adequate numbers.

The underlying problem is what kind of a woman whose biological clock is ticking really wants to volunteer for submarine duty? Answer: A few innocent women, a few would be authors at first, several feminist movement heroines, some misguided patriots, and perhaps the usual whores and disciplinarians.

9/13/2012 7:53 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Why can't they send the USS Paducah to collide with it and sink the Colorado?

9/13/2012 9:00 PM

Blogger SJV said...

Based on this intro, I'm thinking the show has much less to do with the boomer than it does with the island. Egomaniac officers get a grip, this ain't gonna be about the submarine force. It's about politics.

9/14/2012 5:14 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

The whole premise to the show would be just a bad joke, were it not for the fact that the show is clearly selling a laughably liberal view of the world.

So...let me get this right. Some unnamed, obviously right-wing group gets control of a "backup, less-secure" nuclear missile launch order circuit...and the first thing they do is rub out a couple of Pakistani cities? Really? I guess that's on account of the fact that those damn right-wingers just soooo want to grease Pakistan, while the women on the boat -- one with her finger on the key, no less -- saves the world. Sorta.

Pure rubbish.

9/14/2012 6:08 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wildly inaccurate, ridiculous dialogue between over-the-top characters...and now I'm hooked.

9/14/2012 8:03 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

After this coming January, they've decided to change the actors in the show to better reflect their intended imagery. The new players:

CO => (former) President Barack Obama

XO => any boomer fag officer

COB => any "old and obsolete-thinking" enlisted submariner

LT Shephard => Nancy Pelosi (post implant removal and 5th facelift with a forklift)

9/14/2012 8:27 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Man, you right-wing nut jobs see a political agenda in everything. Put your tinfoil hats back on and go enjoy a Chick-Fil-A sandwich.

9/14/2012 9:32 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

So an officer gets to shoot a petty officer dead. That's gotta be an O-Div wet dream.


9/14/2012 10:24 AM

Blogger Unknown said...

I'll watch e2. Crazy as it sounds I check my critic hat at the door. Interesting enough to give it time and see what develops. The crying, drunk seal its ridiculous. Show wont make it pass this season anyway. Crossing the Ecuador was a bit over the top.That said...they had me at para bailar la bamba...

9/14/2012 11:09 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Propaganda for the masses. They'll probably shake loose enough female volunteers over the La Bamba dancing to satisfy their minimal quota needs. The babes like dancing...golly, who knew the Navy did this upon crossing the equator? What a bunch of nice guys...

9/14/2012 11:57 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

And in other news...North Dakota Sailor robs Groton Navy Federal branch. Apprehended on base.

The link doesn't say it was a North Dakota Sailor but it was. I am sure Navy Times will have this soon.

9/14/2012 5:48 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Aw say it ain't so. That North Dakota Sailor was an SK2 on the 23 boat when I last rode her, he had an issue with using another boat's gas card while that boat was underway. They pulled his clearance and sent him down the waterfront to one of the other Seawolf hulls that we had pierside for parts.

9/15/2012 2:26 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

To anon at 226 am

Pulled his clearance? And then converted him to Radioman and put him on a new construction boat.

That sounds about right. Good job Navy/security screening programs.

9/15/2012 6:49 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Not sure if they converted him or not, last I knew he was still an SK/LS. But they had to get him out of Projects after that incident.

9/15/2012 7:40 AM

Anonymous NHSparky said...

"Crimson Tide" meets "Lost". Well, there's 42 minutes of my life I'll never get back.

As I stated earlier, back in the late 80's the (not surprisingly bad) ABC series "Supercarrier" lasted all of eight episodes before getting shitcanned.

Doubt this will even last that long. YMMV.

9/15/2012 11:37 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I won't even try to watch it. I am a purist and I believe you can have Hollywood license with the plot with accuracy in how a submarine is operated.

9/15/2012 12:20 PM

Blogger Diablo Scott said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

9/15/2012 4:37 PM

Anonymous sc0ttt said...

Captain Chaplin? Don't like the name... sounds preachy.

He played the frustrated car salesman on that TV show about guys having a midlife crisis... loser.

Yeah, the dialogue's not right without the repeat backs... and too many "aye aye sir"s.

Neat looking sets though... maybe a little too much room in the passages.

That bar room smack talk scene was the best part.

9/15/2012 5:24 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

coulda been worse

9/15/2012 5:34 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Who vetted this horseshit? Would it really kill them to find one of us to advise them on something approaching reality?

9/15/2012 7:10 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

^^^Hint: "Captain's on the conn"...and "XO's on the conn"

Question: Who talks like that?

Answer: SKIMMERS do, shipmate. Apparently it's a real event when a skimmer captain makes his way to the conn. I think some dumbass wannabe-submariner skimmer advised these turkeys.

9/15/2012 7:26 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Here is the full credits for "Last Resort"...and it doesn't look like they had a technical advisor. Big Surprise.

9/15/2012 7:35 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

And here is the IMDB blog on "Last Resort."

9/15/2012 7:49 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Reload: here is the IMDB blog.

9/15/2012 7:58 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

That was awful in so many different ways. The only way I will watch another episode is if you post it as a link. Horrible. I even like several of the actors and still couldn't stand it.

9/15/2012 11:21 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Kind of off topic but a Telegraph reporter says: "The carriers are supported by at least 12 battleships, including ballistic missile cruisers, frigates, destroyers and assault ships carrying thousand of US Marines and special forces."
"Battleships" still exist on active duty? Who da thunk it.

9/16/2012 8:36 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

That show is horrible.

Some more off-topic news of interest to Nuclear personnel:

Haliburton loses 7 inch Radioactive cylinder in Texas...somewhere. People warned to stay back 20-25 feet if they find it.

9/16/2012 4:42 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

WTF is a "ballistic missile cruiser"?

9/16/2012 6:15 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

That source that Halliburton lost is a Neutron Source. Not sure of the strength but it is measured in Curies not Micro Curies.

9/17/2012 9:08 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

A ballistic missle cruiser is similar to the space battle ship Yamato. Both are complete fantasies.

(In reference the Persian Gulf buildup article).

9/17/2012 10:00 AM

Blogger ETCS(SS/SW) said...

Totally unrealistic depiction of real submarine operations (at least from the personnel aspects).

In the Sep 24, 2012 issue of Navy Times there is an article on the movie. One item from the article:

"I liked it. I couldn't turn it off," says retired Navy Cmdr. Fred Borgmann, who spent his entire 34-year career aboard subs and is now the executive administrator of United States Submarine Veterans in Silverdale, Wash. "I have a son who was in the SEALs for 20-some years, so I could relate to both sets of characters -- the submariners and the SEALS," Borgmann says. "Some of it is kind of far out -- you can nitpick the hell out of it, if you want to -- but I thought it was pretty intense and very well done. It had me hooked. I'd recommend it to anyone."

I don't understand how a 34-year veteran of submarines can say he relates to such an unrealistic depiction of real submariners. Though it's his opinion I don't see how he could 'recommend it to anyone'. Additionally, as their executive administrator, I wonder what his fellow USSVI shipmates (Silverdale, Wash.) think about his comments.

9/17/2012 2:04 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

As for Mr. Borgman, he served on three boats from 59-64 as an IC-man. So maybe a tad out of touch. He did serve in a bunch of nuke billets as awarrant and officer.

Not quite sure what a Executive Adminstrator is, but that position is not listed on the website offices that I could find.

I couldn't stomach watching more tha 10 minutes for all the errors!

9/17/2012 2:27 PM

Blogger Gospace said...

Read that Telegraph article, and posted a comment before reading any other comments. Discovered that 10% or more of the comments were about a "defence correspondent" not knowing that there were no battleships around anymore.

Apparently, knowledge of the subject you are covering is no longer required for reporters.

9/17/2012 6:43 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Let's turn this cluster**** of a show into an opportunity by developing a drinking around the inaccuracies!

9/18/2012 8:25 AM

Anonymous Reality (sound) bites said...

Perhaps we all need to develop a sense of humor about the non-reality of "Last Resort."

Think about it. A true-to-life submarine story could include:

* A Trident COB porking a female midshipman while underway

* The skipper being fired for porking an unmarried Virginia woman after telling her he was a "special operations" kind of guy...and faked his own death via e-mail (very 'faked')

* The boat running aground in/near the Strait of Gibraltar while on its way to the ordered Tomahawk missile shoot

* The boat surfacing underneath a civilian cruise ship and killing several high schoolers in the process

* The CO banging the (fill in the blank)

* The CO getting a 2500 mile screwdriver earful over the secure line after "inviolable time requirement violated and discovered u/w"

* The same boat having multiple collisions on the surface near its own homeport

* The enroute female supply officer being busted for fraud

* Hazing, to include "simulated anal sex by a couple of qualified guys during a qual checkout"

* "Someone's feelings were hurt"

* A crew member getting his collarbone broken while getting his fish tacked on

* Pubed and rimmed coffee cups

* ...oh, yeah...and the sorts of things featured in Blind Man's Bluff; somehow, too, the job gets done amongst all the noise

9/18/2012 9:56 AM

Anonymous k said...

fwiw, I did have one submarine captain (but only one iirc) do the 'Captain on the Conn' thing. The helmsman was supposed to shout it out.

9/18/2012 10:11 AM

Blogger LargeBill said...


TV & movies are not intended to perfectly get the detail right. Their goal is to entertain and to sell the crap advertised between scenes. I've watched NCIS for years and been able to enjoy it despite it having no resemblance to reality. My wife has worked for the FBI for 30+ years. How do you think they feel about how they are portrayed on TV? Does anyone really believe that every time they interact with locals they have a huge confrontation? I imagine other occupations bitch and complain about how Hollywood gets their day to day stuff wrong as well.

9/19/2012 10:19 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think the perfect metaphor for "Last Resort" is when the T-hull is sitting on the bottom after a "Tomahawk" (wha'...? Never mind) attack: the ships screw turns in the reverse direction to drive them off of the bottom.

I.e., everything's backwards...especially the skimmer talk on a submarine.

9/19/2012 12:01 PM

Blogger BillP said...

The Officer of the Deck is suposed to announce that 'the Captain has the Conn' if the skipper makes a helm order - lets the helmsman know who they should pay attention to...

9/19/2012 12:44 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

billp there is a huge difference between "the Captain has the conn" and "Captain on the conn" one as you said informs everyone who they are to take orders from the other provides useless information and is a complete distraction.

9/19/2012 3:04 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Never heard anyone say, "Captain's on the Conn." How would the Helm know he is on the Conn anyway? I have only heard the Helm say, "Captain in Control" to let the members in Control know that the CO was present.

9/19/2012 8:00 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Now here's a REAL submarine just happens to take place in the 23rd century.

9/20/2012 6:04 PM

Anonymous Hambone said...

This was worse than Hunt For Red October. Sheeesh. So somebody who is currently on an Ohio class tell me, can you really pick up tv signals that fast and that clear? lol Reminds me of when we tried to convince a nub that we could do that but we were watching a video tape. Yeh. He wasn't fooled for long. Crossing the equator they should have shown a nice Shellback initiation ... oh. I forgot. They can't do those anymore because that is hazing. *wimps*
Yes, the best submarine movie around is "Down Periscope". The humor is pure submarine humor. :) This show needs a mid-career enlisted man to get the little stuff right. A full bird for CO and a Lt Cdr for XO? Strange. Grinding your screw in the bottom and it still works? Not from what I remember of doing that. 6 weeks in drydock later ......
Probably not going to watch this show.

9/21/2012 4:33 PM

Blogger Robert said...

Very difficult to watch. I felt like they cut out a critically important plot development somewhere in the middle, namely when the captain went from "We can't nuke an innocent country without proper orders" to 10 minutes later going completely rogue and launching a missile near Washington DC. Basically he went from questioning orders, to treason, then for good measure declared war on the entire planet.

I predict a mid-season cancel here.

9/23/2012 4:52 AM

Blogger SUBSIM said...

I like action movies, I like sub action movies, but Crimson Tide has been done and Last Resort does not do it better. There are so many actions taken that simply beggar belief--how fast can a nuclear sub commander go rogue? If he had been planning to go rogue for years, well, maybe the moves that Captain Marcus Chaplan makes would stand up to scrutiny. But otherwise, it's really a stretch to think an American captain would nuke DC.

My full review of the pilot:

9/23/2012 7:17 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

A TV series has one function: draw viewers. An accurate portrayal of submarine life would not do that; 23 hours 42 minutes of sheer boredom, followed by a few minutes of terror wouldn't cut it with an audience. With that in mind, I enjoyed it and will watch.

9/23/2012 8:37 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Clearly, it isn't the accuracy of "Last Resort" that has submariners flipping it off...the real issue is that it doesn't portray either submariners or the national command in an admirable way.

Hollywood's definition of hero requires first that someone be the villain. While DC certainly fits being labeled as a villain like an OJ Simpson leather glove, nuking Pakistan (without just cause) is just plain nutty.

And having submariners speaking skimmer lines (of all things) also doesn't help.

There's just no reasonable way to stay 'in the movie' when the writers keep tripping over their own PC notions of how submarines, the military, and DC work.

"Last Resort" is at least true to its name -- if you're watching horseshit like this, you're truly at your last resort for finding something worthwhile to do with your time.

9/24/2012 10:19 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

"There's just no reasonable way to stay 'in the movie' when the writers keep tripping over their own PC notions of how submarines, the military, and DC work. "


No one expects a TV show or movie to be 100% realistic, but what they do expect is the writers, director, and actors to place you in a world where events occur and people act in a way that is plausible for the fictional world in which they live.

So when the writers place their show in a setting that is a harbinger of death for the U.S. government and proceed to fill it with U.S. Submariners, who are typically associated with having above-average patriotism and understand the importance of obeying a chain of command, they quickly venture into making the show absurd when the driving plot device is how the submarine defies the nation it is sworn to protect and acts in its crew's supposed self-interest.

9/24/2012 4:20 PM

Anonymous ajay said...

great post ...........

9/24/2012 10:00 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

This show will be cancelled before mid-season, and before we find out what happened.

9/27/2012 7:00 PM

Blogger miami said...

I'm interested by what they think we do when we mixture the equator.
Miami Dodge

9/27/2012 11:22 PM

Blogger Unknown said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

9/28/2012 5:19 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I actually managed to watch the entire episode. It was like a car wreck and I couldn't take my eyes off it. So many little things they could have done better without any real effort. However, there was drama and it left you woundering what was really going on. I might actually watch another episode.

9/28/2012 5:22 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I should have had an adult beveredge or three BEFORE watching. Cannot get past all the mistakes and sappy dialogue. COB was Col. Ryan from The Unit. I bet he wishes he was back there.

9/28/2012 7:19 AM

Anonymous sc0ttt said...

Watched it again on TV this time. Huge gaff at then end when everybody ran from the island back to the boat (no idea how they get out to the parking spot in the bay) but they didn't get underway and they didn't submerge (this was specifically noted). Then they launched the missile and the screen shows a submerged launch. That's not just inaccurate, that's a continuity error.

OK, boomer guys correct me if I'm wrong. 1. You can't even do a surface launch. 2. You can't launch first and put in the program for DC in flight.

Despite all this stuff, it was still kind of fun... in an apocolypse movie kind of way.

9/28/2012 9:57 AM

Blogger RM1(SS) (ret) said...

I've heard "Captain in Control" (not "Captain's on the conn"!!), though I can't remember which skipper(s) it was. Skimmers don't have a conn; they say "Captain's on the bridge" when he comes in, and also announce his departure from the bridge.

9/28/2012 1:55 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I can't figure out who the 2 crew members were that the Island honcho had in the van, near the end...!!!...???

10/01/2012 11:56 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

does anyonekmow, who were the two people the island guys had tied up in the van,

10/02/2012 12:02 AM

Anonymous Reality (sound) Bites said...

Some numbnuts 'journalist' for "The Day" in New London has managed to totally mischaracterize my statement let me repeat a snippet here along with some clarification.

The Day: "After all, the poster suggested, referring also to recent stories about submarine groundings and supply officers being busted for fraud, maybe the crazy plot twists of "Last Resort" are not all that implausible."

Reality (sound) Bites: Getting a sense of humor about the fictional content of Last Resort does not mean we should in any way imagine the show to be believable. The plot twists and premises of the show's ridiculously left-leaning PC writers aren't remotely plausible. They are in fact moronic. Just like I Love Lucy or Hogan's Heroes, the show is indeed laughable...but I don't think the writers in this case intended them to be.

10/03/2012 10:48 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Glad I found this. After watching the "Crossing the Equator Dance Festival", I looked at my wife after about six "WTFs". "There are three possibilities," I said.

1. This is Hollywood's fantasy.
2. Submariners are actually like that, making me feel a lot better about being in an HSL squadron (for the under thirty crowd, that is Helicopter Antisubmarine Light) and killing them in job lots.
3. The Navy eliminated Wog Day in a fit of political correctness, in which case I would have to recommend doing away with a Navy that was that pussified.

I feel a lot better knowing that the correct answer is "1."

11/16/2012 8:13 PM


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