"Last Resort" Airs, Hilarity Ensues
I know we had a thread on this fairly recently, but now that the first episode of the new submarine-themed comedy "Last Resort" has aired, there seems to be a lot of interest in what actual Submariners thought of it, so I'll start a new post. Personally, I could overlook the concept that in the future there would be a sub-launched Tomahawk that functions as a non-nuclear depth charge (despite that being almost the most ineffective weapons system imaginable -- I suppose a Tomahawk that crashes into the water without a warhead would be slightly less effective), and the idea that a submarine could identify the stealthy American submarine that fired said Tomahawk from hundreds of miles away, and the horribly simplistic depiction of test depth flooding, and the OOD announcing "Venting forward, venting aft" on the 1MC when submerging (without looking through the 'scope -- I'll give them some advanced non-penetrating periscope on a boomer in the future), but I don't know if I can forgive the "happy dance party" when crossing the equator.
So what were your "favorite" submarine elements of the first episode?
Update 1307 28 Sep: Crap, I forgot my blogiversary again; I marked 8 years of TSSBP earlier this month. Thanks to all the readers and commenters!
Update 1020 30 Sep: And while we're on the subject of inaccurate portrayals of Submariners, it appears the Navy is guilty of turning a Submariner into a SWO for recruiting propaganda. (LT Carter did his JO tour on USS Minneapolis-St. Paul (SSN 708).
Update 1315 30 Sep: Almost forgot about the impossible shot made with the missile. Since you see the missile pass over D.C. (at an altitude way too low for it to make another 200 miles on a ballistic trajectory), and see it explode 200 miles to the east, it's clear they intended the viewer to believe the missile was shot from the western IO across the Pacific, over the U.S. west coast, and past D.C. -- a distance of about 12,000 nm. This is well beyond the published max range of a D-5 missile; even the 7,000 nm range from the western IO to D.C. by the shortest path is right on the hairy edge.
posted by Bubblehead at 12:58 PM
127 Comments:
I must have just missed the mod to add the antenna that picks up live tv broadcast. Man, just think, I could have watched endless rerruns of Hannah Montana at night and caught The View in the morning. And i know they didnt show the engine room, but I am sure there is a small screen on the RPCP to catch those late night shows on the monotonous mid watch.
9/28/2012 1:22 PM
Here are a few points most of them are the explainable by the left wing and not so vaguely anti-military slant of the show's writers.
1. The meme that military officers argue with each other all the time and no real chain of command.
Examples: The SEALS pointing guns at the CO "wanting to see the orders". The COB and a few officers mutineer and actually get shot by "loyal" officers.
2. The meme that enlisted personnel are childlike, fearful idiots that need reassurance from the officers any time anything new happens on the show.
Example: "Captain the crew are worried ... blah blah".
3. The meme that defense company execs are wanton sluts that push boondoggle projects on the military ... OK maybe that is slightly true.
Example: "You better put my anti-magnetic stealth device on your next boat or I will rat you out".
4. The meme that the only trustworthy military members are in fact mutineers against lawful authority.
5. The meme that captains question their orders or that each order that comes in requires deliberation before they decide to accept it. Corollary: Whenever something happens they were not properly trained how to handle it so have to argue amongst themselves.
Example: "Are you thinking what I'm thinking? Why did they use the Antarctic network?"
6. Meme: Muslim countries that we we are currently at war with and that are nuclear armed like Pakistan, are peaceful and innocent and it is inconceivable the President would order a nuclear strike.
7. Meme: The United States is minutes away from a military coup by the hawkish Pentagon.
there's a lot more where that came from
9/28/2012 1:36 PM
As for submarine stuff:
How about that "fact" that the Trident II missile that they launched only had a single nuclear warhead? what happened to the other 7.
Or after they launched only 1 missile the CO said "I still have 17 of these left". What happened to the rest of your missiles, Cap'n? Or maybe he lost count.
How about the fact that a boomer was performing a SEAL extraction mission at the start of the show they must have got that boomer confused with an attack sub.
9/28/2012 2:06 PM
“Submerge the ship”. “Negative, no time”. Then, “Fire the missile”.
From the SUBMERGED ship.
9/28/2012 2:20 PM
"I must have just missed the mod to add the antenna that picks up live tv broadcast."
actually that does exist, after a fashion - http://www.raytheon.com/capabilities/products/gbs/
(never been on a boat that had it, but some of them had.)
9/28/2012 2:27 PM
I am aware of this show - but I will not be wasting my time watching it or discussing it with non bubbleheads. I know it will be patronizing and inaccurate, written by ignorant idiots with agendas and their own personal biases. To promote 'authenticity' they may hire some ex-military person as an 'advisor' (puppet) but it will either be someone with no submarine experience or someone they don't listen to or both. I have better things to do than watch something that will make me angry.
9/28/2012 2:41 PM
All the radar consoles and the software at the NATO listening post on the island are identical to the gear on the boomer, so Sulu instantly knows how to operate everything without missing a beat.
9/28/2012 2:42 PM
The seedy looking bar on the island displays a wider assortment of ethnic groups than the Mos Eisley Cantina.
9/28/2012 3:01 PM
If they wanted to lay low, they should've pulled into the Horse and Cow.
9/28/2012 4:04 PM
What's aggravating about a movie like this is: with all the material from real life such as that contained in (neither confirming nor denying) Blind Man's Bluff, this is the kind of horseshit that gets served up by Hollywood.
Warning label: "Epic. Fail."
9/28/2012 4:38 PM
I can't believe you made it this far into the thread without mentioning when the COB says "The stupid will be punished," and butchered the name of this blog. I thought that was quite a tribute to you that he used your name, even if he got it wrong. No?
9/28/2012 6:10 PM
I's fiction people, get over it. Wrestling isn't real either...
9/28/2012 7:47 PM
There is suspension of belief and then there is ridiculousness. This was ridiculousness.
9/28/2012 7:48 PM
Poor, just poor.
'Das Boot' was originally a German TV series. It is well known to be one of the best submarine films ever made.
We get this garbage from Hollywood. Absolute crap.
9/28/2012 8:42 PM
As has been mentioned, there's so much wrong with this show from concept onwards that it seems pointless to even start pulling apart the technical elements which are frustrating only to actual submariners.
My one big takeaway was that the whole first episode felt extremely rushed, as if the producers were afraid that if a missile wasn't flying around or a gun being shot every minute, the audience might realize how stupendously stupid the plot is, let alone how pathetically one-dimensional, cliched, and confusing the characters are. This leads to the mind-boggling situation where in the span of about three minutes the captain loses command, stomps off pouting to his stateroom, tells the XO to pack sand when he comes asking for help, and then is back in Control ready to take over again. Inside mere minutes! And then there's the XO, who after having a showdown with the COB over respecting his authority as the new CO, not only cheerfully gives command back to the old CO once he saunters back into Control, but actually has the one LT who sticks up for him forcibly removed! And on and on it goes... you don't have to be a submariner to think this show blows. In an age of TV drama that has brought us Dexter, Mad Men, Breaking Bad, Shameless, Boardwalk Empire, Game of Thrones, not to mention Homeland, another national security series but that's actually watchable, this production is woefully subpar. Is it a cable vs. broadcast thing? No, because ABC has actually had some decent shows on it, e.g. Lost (also filmed in the exact same Hawaiian locations - any other Pearl sailors immediately recognize Chinaman's Hat?)
With that said though, as bad as the show is as mere entertainment, I still have many submariner gripes. For starters, as a former CRA I have to laugh at the XO and CO clearly wearing LiF TLDs. For that matter, since neither the CO or XO ever seem concerned about the state of the reactor at any point, maybe they weren't nukes after all and Rickover has been expunged from Naval history (I mean, the combat systems are there to defend the reactor, right??).
AND... what was that comment made about "rebooting the control planes" - are Ohios fly by wire now? Does the captain really think he has "ICBMs" on board, or does he think he's a USAF missileer in North Dakota? How can it take only 30 seconds for a missile to fly from the Indian Ocean to northern Pakistan, and only a few seconds more for one to detonate "200 miles east of" Washington, DC? Why was there not one coffee mug in Control or anywhere else onboard?!?
I never thought I'd say it, but I think I've actually found a depiction of submarining worse than Crimson Tide.
9/28/2012 9:49 PM
I especially liked the "Fire Control Panel" that was a red box and looked like the fire alarm system on an industrial building. That was a good touch.
9/28/2012 9:55 PM
LiF TLDs? Seriously? That is just bizarre to care about Hollywood getting that right. FYI - technology is slowly catching on; LiF TLDs have been the standard for nucs for several years now...
9/28/2012 10:58 PM
Yup, worse than Crimson Tide. Hey, they got the uniforms right!
9/29/2012 5:23 AM
@ 9:49 PM: The Fleet went to LiF more than 2 years ago...forward and aft. Best thing ever...well, maybe not ever...but pretty darn good.
9/29/2012 5:50 AM
"How about that "fact" that the Trident II missile that they launched only had a single nuclear warhead? what happened to the other 7."
The people in charge of these things don't always fill the missiles to capacity. This allows for versatility in what gets launched - you think the planners want to be obligated to launch eight warheads when fewer will do for their purposes? I'm not saying it's necessarily true that there will be a missile with one warhead on board, but it's entirely plausible.
9/29/2012 6:06 AM
Since when are US Navy Submarines equipped with "latrines"?
9/29/2012 8:21 AM
Supposedly the U.S. Navy had nothing to do with the production of this show. If that's the case, some sanity is restored to the world.
9/29/2012 8:27 AM
It's just general public entertainment. I am sure your reaction would be different if the show actually depicted factual events, systems, and practices. This is exactly where you want Hollywood and the general public to be.
9/29/2012 10:40 AM
Regarding the comment "Meme: The United States is minutes away from a military coup by the hawkish Pentagon."
If current military leaders, especially Gen. Casey, had a coup no one would notice a difference.
9/29/2012 10:42 AM
I'm waiting for the flying sub and mothra to make their appearance.
Other than that, it's better than some.
Can't wait for them to show SEALs at ffield day.
9/29/2012 2:20 PM
Know of any former sub captains who helped with production of Shawn Ryan's "Last Resort"?
He alleged that there were two (2).
9/29/2012 2:22 PM
It's entertainment, not a documentary you bunch of fucking retards. Why don't you go back to doing what you do best -- incessantly whining about how gays and women are going to ruin the submarine force.
9/29/2012 3:40 PM
Vig links to Shawn Ryan's statement about two navy submarine captains who helped the production and says they may be readers of TSSP or known to the Duck.
9/29/2012 3:45 PM
At least they don't drive the sub like a bunch of pussies. The sub force can learn something from the show- stop being bitches.
9/29/2012 4:33 PM
Man, I miss my CaF2 TLD. Did they really switch? It was a sign of being a nuke,
Also, since when do you put air in the MBT's for a seal extraction. Just pump some water off and flood to go down again.
I used to drive the boat aggressive. You'd be surprised How many people on board your own boat are little bitches about this. I got yelled at for putting a hamburger into the CO's lap. By another JO! Little bitch must have forgot he signed up for a fast boat! Chop told me he thought I held the navy record for breaking dishes. I told him his MS's held the record for not stowing for sea.
9/29/2012 5:06 PM
Submariners are well entitled to their own opinions, and this is a submariner blog. So if that's a problem for you, please seriously consider simply shutting the fuck up and trolling elsewhere to the the attention that mommy and daddy never gave you.
Ignoring (completely) all comments here from non-submariners, the thing I'm left wondering about is how does Hollywood so massively miss an opportunity to tell a modern story about submariners that compares to Das Boot or The Hunt for Red October.
That is, until I read this, and realized that the people who created "Lost Resort" are so far removed from submarines that they might've just as well made a movie about Francisco de Orellana fighting Amazon women in 1542 -- they have about the same amount of knowledge of that which they speak in either case.
At least Karl Gajdusek, one of the show's creators, freely admits that "...the show is political, obviously. It is about what happens, what could happen, when extremes in a nation stop talking to each other and start to suspect each other."
So, if you're into PC politics and monkey-spanking "gee, what ifs" that are about as connected to reality as the Roadrunner cartoon, then this is the show for you.
9/29/2012 7:40 PM
Well, give credit to the producers of "LOST" meets "Crimson Tide":
Boat anchors out in harbor of paradise-like island. Coners hit the beach, nukes stay aboard to steam and get fucked.
1 point for realism in that score.
9/30/2012 7:14 AM
How about that "fact" that the Trident II missile that they launched only had a single nuclear warhead? what happened to the other 7.
"Or after they launched only 1 missile the CO said "I still have 17 of these left". What happened to the rest of your missiles, Cap'n? Or maybe he lost count.
How about the fact that a boomer was performing a SEAL extraction mission at the start of the show they must have got that boomer confused with an attack sub."
I will point out that on both points the show is correct and your memory... not necessarily so correct. I am not sure if we are down to 18 missiles yet, but the new START Treaty definitely says 6 Tubes are filled with Ballast and the nuclear missiles are to be removed within 7 years of Ratification.
Also Trident II missiles exist in several warhead configurations. One of which may be 1 warhead.
9/30/2012 10:54 AM
I LIKE IT! Ah..
9/30/2012 3:57 PM
And you guys call yourself professionals? You sound like a bunch of hens cackling in the hen house. Its fiction...DO you really think a lawyer flew a jet whenever he wanted to on JAG???? Grow up and get along.
9/30/2012 5:23 PM
And you sound like a skimmer...one whose mommy and daddy didn't have time for him/she-male.
'Nuff said.
9/30/2012 6:37 PM
@ Anon. 5.23pm
There's fiction, and then there's dumb fiction that makes your profession look ridiculous. Was half your crew always three seconds from mutiny, itching to question properly authenticated orders at the drop of a hat? Did your entire watch team stop driving and break into dance whenever your boat crossed the equator?
Yeah, thought so.
9/30/2012 6:56 PM
To those of you pointing out the inaccuracies of D-5 missile configureations, targeting, and SSBN missions you all need to start at an even more basic level. Specifically where "analyst" explains that the boat has 18 D-5's & XX (I forget the number) tomahawks. So all that other stuff is even less silly than the notion that we would mix our strategic and tactical assets. I'm still amazed they let the SSGN thing go through having tacial & strategic assets of the same class. There's some pretty basic and critical security reasons (not to mention financial & practical) why no submarine will ever carry both TLAMs and Tridents. So anyway we've established that the show is wildly inaccurate on many levels and politically driven with a leftist slant. I'm still gonna watch & laugh.
What I actually find most interesting is how some (apparently) old timers here are scoffing and the inaccuracies that are actually not so far off. Such as LiF TLD's (been given to nukes for a few years now) & the ability to receive specified media content from open sources for replay on the ship (GBS). How many of you are ashamed to be more "out of touch" that these liberal agenda pushers?
One thing that sort of rubs me wrong with the whole show though is the way they portray the Nav. They make her seem like a lost little girl at times, as if she's not on her second boat and is somehow is new to this whole submarine thing. Its both a discredit to women & to the DH's on boats. They portray the CO & XO as running the ship all the time & act as if a DH wouldn't normally have the conn. It also bothers me how the Nav is doing things that the Dive, COW, QMOW, would do. Oh well.
-Serving Nav.
9/30/2012 8:08 PM
Nav?
Is that you?
v/r
commo
9/30/2012 9:02 PM
"Nobody ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American public."
-- H. L. Mencken
9/30/2012 10:10 PM
Let's start from the beginning...
1. SEALs on emergency extract seemingly call into the blue, and, somehow, get heard by a submerged SSBN...
2. that just happens to be doing a deterence patrol off the coast of a hostile country...
3. and decide "what the heck, let's break Alert posture and surface to pick up these guys"...
And that's when I said "meh, enough."
10/01/2012 9:17 AM
How about the hull number, painted in white, at the aft lower corner of the sail? AND that it was 753?
10/01/2012 10:30 AM
I liked the hull rivet popping and smacking the SEAL in the head. Especially on a welded hull submarine. ROF&LOL!
ex-EM1(SS)
10/01/2012 11:07 AM
Oh shit, it's the 753? I'm definitely watching the show now.
10/01/2012 1:12 PM
It wasn't a hull rivet, it was flange bolt.
10/01/2012 1:51 PM
^^^...and flange bolts never fail like that. Ever.
Not that this was by any means the center feature of this Hollywood spank-fest. It's just another example of the "let's just make shit up, who's gonna know?" attitudes in the land of Californication.
10/01/2012 1:58 PM
The SEALs in this show are insular dickheads who are completely out of control.
I also liked how the sub surfaces on the island the first time and collides with a tugboat. Even my wife though it looked like model toys in a bathtub. Pulling into a tiny shallow port full of small boats, submerged, without looking. You would think after the Ehime Maru they would know enough use the periscope first before surfacing, but no.
10/01/2012 2:43 PM
"Was half your crew always three seconds from mutiny, itching to question properly authenticated orders at the drop of a hat? "
Whenever we ran a COMCONEX there were always several messages that provided a current events context for the coming launch orders. For example, some country had invaded some other country or launched a first strike. Is it possible they might actually want us to ignore launch orders that come completely out of the blue? I'm just throwing it out there because if not, why include those informational messages at all?
10/01/2012 3:03 PM
A much more interesting work of fiction (and hopefully not reality): The Sampson Option
And it wouldn't even take imaginary submarine missiles that travel near the speed of light to keep people riveted in their seats.
10/01/2012 5:29 PM
The Sampson Option would be terrible for the Middle East. For US skimmers and submariners, however, something else may currently demands more attention.
10/01/2012 8:20 PM
I hate you vaginus.
10/02/2012 12:00 PM
Readers faulting 'Last Resort' for portraying submariners in a bad light (it does not) or being technically inaccurate (no argument) may want to hold those thoughts and take a breath. Which is worse:
TV fiction, or
Real life: a serving sub commander who faked his death to end an affair.
Well?
10/02/2012 2:15 PM
Too bad its not on cable, then we'd have T&A.
10/02/2012 3:47 PM
>Boat anchors out in harbor of paradise-like island. Coners hit the beach, nukes stay aboard to steam and get fucked.
Yup - if they don't get shore power out there pretty soon the nukes might mutiny and hold the reactor hostage - that'd be a good episode.
10/02/2012 4:47 PM
>Boat anchors out in harbor of paradise-like island. Coners hit the beach, nukes stay aboard to steam and get fucked.
Yeah, if they don't get shore power out there, the nukes could mutiny and hold the reactor hostage... that'd be a good episode.
10/02/2012 4:50 PM
Just watched it and all the wrong submarine stuff aside...it is actually a pretty BAD show. Will be interesting to see how long it stays and if it get's any better.
10/03/2012 12:30 AM
And anyone who thinks that submariners collaborating to fire a nuclear weapon at Washington D.C. doesn't have much hope of ever understanding what "being portrayed in a bad light" is, much less have any credibility for telling others what is such and what is not.
10/03/2012 6:12 AM
Anon 6:12,
Elaine, either you never watched the episode or you have ADD. Can you identify two or more submariners depicted as collaborating to launch on D.C. Hmmm! No you can't.
By the way, where did that missile actually hit, as planned, without endangering a population? That we know--- about 250 mikes out in the Atlantic.
Next time you want to offer your opinion, do your F*&k'n homework.
10/03/2012 10:20 AM
How can this show real submariners in a bad light when the whole show is about boomer fags? Har har har.
10/03/2012 1:45 PM
How can this show real submariners in a bad light when the whole show is about boomer fags? Har har har.
10/03/2012 1:46 PM
Ok, first things first, to all you bubble heads out there...a sincere thank you for your service to our nation. Now my rant...this is a drama for entertainment only, it's not a documentary! Just roll with the storyline, enjoy the archs. Of course it's not real...it would be boring for most of us if everything was exactly factual, watch a documentary on Military Channel if you are looking for authenticity. Thank you again for your service, please complain about something that matters now...
10/03/2012 1:56 PM
True, be we submariners (especially nukes) love to complain :) and it drives us nuts when simple things are wrong.
10/03/2012 2:40 PM
Submariners can and will form their own opinion about the show. Everyone else can pretty much just go sell their bullshit elsewhere.
You are welcome for our service. And our opinions.
10/03/2012 2:41 PM
How do you know when a commentator is not in the military (or isn't former military)?
When he starts his post stating "thank you all for your service".
This being a submariner blog, we all know that we shoud then ignore what he says, since he obviously stumbled into the wrong room.
Complain about something that matters?
Obviously you don't hang out with us nukes enough, because we gripe about everything.
And on a submarner blog, we are entitled to do just that, even about stuff that doesn't matter.... to non-submariners.
10/03/2012 5:20 PM
anon at 1:56:
now time for my rant: non-submariners commenting in a submariner blog should STFU instead of telling us submariners what we should or should not care about and should or should not comment on.
Kind of rude, if you ask me.
10/03/2012 5:23 PM
What does Mulligan think about all of this?
10/03/2012 6:43 PM
Better question: what do television viewers think?
Answer: Not much. Ratings published via Military Times show that Last Resort was rated dead last versus its fellow broadcast competition.
At least it's living up to its adjective: LAST
10/03/2012 9:40 PM
Let's face it, a real show about submarining would be pretty boring.
Unless, of course, each episode was about Dirty Dave and his midshipman fuck toy!
10/04/2012 6:16 AM
Oh, I want to add my fifty cents as a twenty year veteran in the surface Navy, who is incensed by the stupidity I saw written into this show.
I guess "Battle Stations" or General Quarters as we used to call it means that anyone can roam around and break Zebra fittings at their leisure, especially to mosey up to the bridge as and challenge the Captain for challenging his superiors.
That a sub could ever get itself off the ocean floor after crashing there is inconceivably stupid.
I agree with others who have complained about the depiction of enlisted service members. I know the one thing I don't need in a high stress situation is an officer anywhere in site.
Oh, I guess part of your deployment load out for your ballistic missile sub cruise is to make sure you have some Navy working camies just in case you might have to take over some island.
Oh, as any of you who have been at sea, ever, knows that 200 miles off the coast of DC (forgiving the non-depiction of MIRV warheads) there are hundreds of commercial and military ships that would have been destroyed. The resultant tsunami would have obliterated the Maryland and Virginia coast.
I could go on for days, but you all already know this stuff.
10/04/2012 7:54 AM
I guess some people prefer laughable plots to credible ones. It takes all kinds.
The last line in the San Francisco Chronicle's review:
"...Ultimately, though, maybe it's most like "Gilligan's Island," but with more laughs."
P.S. From "The Day": "...no Navy cooperation was sought. They hired a retired submariner as a consultant and built their own set for the interior sub scenes. The producers didn't want to ask for any Navy assistance because it would have required script approval..."
10/04/2012 8:04 AM
Oh, I want to add my fifty cents as a twenty year veteran in the surface Navy, who is incensed by the stupidity I saw written into this show.
As a 8 year submarine veteran, thank you for stupid, ignorant, illiterate rant you stupid skimmer fuck. Should't you be manning brooms or something. Oh, thank you for your service.
10/04/2012 11:02 AM
Started to watch this show. Then started to make a list of errors. Then had to stop doing both. So my knowledge of the show stops halfway through.
Looks like they wanted to make this some sort of hybrid SSGN/SSBN. The defense contractor states that the boat carries 18 Tridents and 28 Tomahawks. I'm assuming that means four seven-shot MACs. That brings us to 22 tubes. Add two lock-in lock-out chambers and we are up to 24 tubes.
Too many others things to list. I think I will skip this show.
10/04/2012 12:21 PM
I found it funny that the CO can just reprogram the D-5 without anyone else knowing about it and that they have the strike package for 200 NM off Washington available to load. OOPs that right the CO is omnipresent at sea and can make those changes by thought. The usual poorly portrayed submarine force that is always depicted as having the abilty to just randomly take control of the missiles. If the only part of the show that was bad it would be believable but the entire thing was crap. Have you tried to pick up American TV in the middle of the Pacific. We struggled to pick up the super bowl off the coast of Jacksonville with the Raytheon anntenna setup.
10/04/2012 12:30 PM
If this was a historical reenactment then this TV show would be terrible. I thought the first episode was pretty good a set the tone for the rest of the season. I want to give all the new prime time shows a chance, and that’s the reason why I got the Hopper. My DISH coworker told me that the Hopper has a Primetime Anytime feature that automatically records all of my prime time shows that come on CBS, NBC, FOX and ABC everyday in HD.
10/04/2012 1:47 PM
Submariners aren't against the show because it's inaccurate. The reason is because it's just plain nuts.
It's one thing to use creative license and cut a corner here or there with respect to accuracy. It's another thing altogether to just wildly make shit up to the point that you have no credibility with respect to reality.
The show's writers didn't seek out the Navy's support for one very apparent reason: they had an agenda (a very PC and nutty one...but I repeat myself), and didn't want the Navy to interfere with it.
Cartoons have greater believability than "Last Resort." I think submariners, and others involved in reality as we know it, are on solid footing to make fun of this idiotic, last-in-its-time-slot show.
10/04/2012 2:14 PM
Should we soon expect a movie about FBI's latest catch: elusive O-6 (former navy intelligence officer)?
10/04/2012 2:57 PM
"The resultant tsunami..."
The what now?
10/04/2012 6:13 PM
Well, they sort of have to embellish it. It would be boring otherwise. They could be a little more realistic and interesting if they did something around aviation
10/04/2012 7:59 PM
Didn't you know that a nuke in the ocean causes a massive tsunami? And the sea level to drown coastal cities around the world? AND (from what I've heard) cause NBC's prime time to go from good to great
10/04/2012 9:01 PM
^^
N being the new A
10/04/2012 9:02 PM
Looks like Vaginus screwed up another link to his blog, LOL!
Skimmers here? Have a nice cup of STFU and read.
It's watchable, I'm happy it puts submarines and dolphins on national TV.
10/05/2012 1:08 AM
I'm sure that they could make a submarine show both interesting and plausible. They would have to take creative license to compress the timeline and frequency of of the interesting stuff, but it's doable. The NRTB's and Force Operational Notes provide enough stories alone, albeit ones that collectively would paint a very poor public image of the submarine force. I'm sure if everyone who served on submarines told the writers mission-related stories they found interesting, they could make at least a few seasons worth of episodes.
The problem is that what we do isn't meant for the general public eye, so the chances of the above happening are extremely small.
10/05/2012 7:02 AM
Shits, U sadness humor me, bcuz ur attemptings to decredit the show bcuz it leaks out ur secrets so ur using negtive mirroring denial method to decredit the show....this, same peeps that gave us the walkers!
10/05/2012 7:54 AM
Just a few more interesting story lines the writers could have chosen from:
1. Strippers at the boat’s Christmas party
2. Strippers on the boat inport (PR, Rosey Roads late 90s time frame) when the unit had a casualty
3. Strippers in various states of undress being found passed out in the boats assigned barracks (OH YEA! With pictures to prove) during a scheduled weekly inspection
4. Strippers at the boat’s Christmas party and the CO’s wife vehemently expressing public disbelief that they boys only brought dancers and not the young ladies that attend church on Sunday (or any other day of the week)
5. FTs getting the most gratifying oral sex he ever experienced from a he/she
6. Junior Officer rescuing the #5 he/she from a major league beat-down thinking he/she was a really GOOD looking she only to be taken for BIG bucks
7. COs throwing chairs at a dept head and having it ricochet off the wardroom overhead and strike them
8. COs attempting to land their private plane in Charleston SC with the landing gear down
9. Junior In-Experienced COBs making a pass at a he/she at 0200 in Hong Kong
10. Strippers showing up at your house with a bunch of CPO selects wanting to sing and dance for your entertainment while you sign their charge book
11. Strippers marrying junior Sailors and the churn that brings to the command when her previous client wants to see the biguns one more time (at a Christmas party)
12. Junior NUKES mixing chemicals to clean funnels and other items the night before ORSE only to have it turn to chlorine gas
13. Anything with strippers
Add your ideas. We could give them years of show ideas.
10/05/2012 8:32 AM
#8 should have been landing gear up. I'm not a freaking airdale so I gooned that up.
10/05/2012 8:34 AM
Blind Man's Bluff...real FAST ATTACK submarine stories. But I repeat myself.
10/05/2012 8:46 AM
And here's some fine eye candy for both skimmers and submariners...and especially skimmers on a submariner blog!
10/05/2012 9:15 AM
Hahahaha Vaginus what an idiot you are, can't even link anonymously to your own stupid blog...now to go rub one out. Thanks!
10/05/2012 10:15 AM
Real submariners are savvy enough to find Molten Eagle's links despite my fat thumb. A movie like Catch Me, If You Can will bbe made (book already started) about the former Navy Captain who eluded the FBI for years after committing the largest charity scam in U.S. history. That scam targetted Navy Vets. This is big, you will soon be seeing the story on an hour-long TV show and reading about it in all the podunk papers.
My friend Vigilis laughs whenever negativity from anon-Gal is expressed on this blog. Anon-Gal does remind us however that not everyone has dolphins. For their benefit here's the
CORRECTED link.
REX
10/05/2012 1:18 PM
Ehhh It's not bad, I a hell of a lot better than Crimson Tide. That screen gem was just plain awful. Besides The "Alabama" would had to have a Puppy Poop Patrol, no doubt worse than crankin.
10/05/2012 11:14 PM
Route the green book, this blog is broken.
10/06/2012 10:01 AM
I'm going to start writing the rules for the Last Resort inaccuracy drinking Game.
10/06/2012 4:44 PM
A little crowd-sourcing assistance for you:
Rule #1: You must make shit up that absolutely violates the laws of physics, thermodynamics, common sense and human logic.
Rule #2: All subplots must be politically correct. Example: If a woman is insulted for her ability to play Navigator, Chief of the Watch, Officer of the Deck and Duty Skimmer ("Captain's on the conn!" in a squeaky voice) all at the same time, the then insulter must be shot dead by the woman in a powerful fashion, and later save the world by not turning the missile firing key (all while playing Navigator, Chief of the Watch, Officer of the Deck and Duty Skimmer simultaneously).
Rule #3: CEOs of alpha male defense contractor companies must be female. See Rule #2.
10/06/2012 8:20 PM
+1 to the producers of the show for the most accurate depiction of the Submarine force (from episode 2):
No submariner shall ever wear a NWU cover properly.
Served ENG
10/06/2012 8:48 PM
I have no sub, or any other military experience for that matter. Just an interested observer.
But this show was completely ridiculous. The worst of it was the way these Trident SSBN pros turned mutineers & nuclear blackmailers at the drop of a hat. Even as a civilian (especially as?) I almost felt soiled afterward.
May this show find the quick end it deserves.
10/06/2012 11:23 PM
so female officers on subs can where their hair in a poytail? huh.
10/07/2012 8:32 AM
Just because you confess to being an idiot, "REX", doesn't mean Vaginus isn't one as well.
10/07/2012 9:07 AM
They could be a little more realistic and interesting if they did something around aviation
They tried that one on ABC in the late 1980's. It was called Supercarrier. It also sucked on ice. Cancelled after eight episodes.
http://tvseriesfinale.com/tv-show/last-resort-season-one-ratings-24670/
I don't see this one lasting much longer.
10/08/2012 7:27 AM
"so female officers on subs can where their hair in a poytail? huh."
No idea if this is the policy on the integrated boats, but why the hell not? Have 'em kick in a fiver to the MWR, like the "no shave chits" the guys get.
10/09/2012 4:51 PM
Changing a targeting package to suit the personal needs of the CO??? Thats the least of the problems. They got a bunch of soggy birds in the tubes. Back in the old days we had either a diaphragm or a closure over the pointy end. You didnt need to flood the tube like a vertical torpedo tube.
Is it wrong to want to have sexual relationship with my div 'o' Lt. Grace?
10/09/2012 5:51 PM
Apropos to the tsunami thing, this came out today: http://what-if.xkcd.com/15/
10/09/2012 6:17 PM
"so female officers on subs can where their hair in a ponytail? huh."
I have to hold onto something!
Dirty Dave
10/09/2012 8:56 PM
I think the best line from the show is "All Ahead Death Crawl." Now that is some funny stuff.
10/09/2012 9:35 PM
Whew...with great thanks, the makers of "Last Resort" have been reading TSSBP and changed their ways to become much more realistic.
The result: the last episode of the series. Thank goodness...it also includes the flying sub.
10/09/2012 9:42 PM
More flying sub...more flying sub...!
10/10/2012 4:47 PM
To those who cry, "Its only a drama", there are those of us who are purists such as myself. If you are making a show, please make the supporting content accurate. It does not significantly add to the filming budget and could gather more viewers. That said, I saw the trailer and have no desire to see the show due to the glaring inaccuracies of the supporting content.
10/11/2012 6:42 AM
^^^Yes...and no.
I think it can be argued that "Last Resort" jumped the shark when they tried to be too believable (current uniforms; somewhat-accurate sets; attempts at naval dialogue...with skimmers participating)...and then incorporated ridiculous plot lines (pick one...but the "memes" comment (#2 here) is pretty accurate and yet still nowhere close to being all-inclusive). A lot more where that came from, indeed.
Alternative? Something like Star Trek for submarines...the most glaring example being "Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea," which aired in the 1960s. Yes, they had:
(1) Nuclear reactors (that 'Kowalski' regularly adjusted the control rods for...manually, and in the reactor compartment)
(2) Flying subs (who doesn't like the idea, even if it is physically preposterous even with today's technologies?)
(3) Sea monsters (yes! and I have seen them myself through the 'scope after hours of no ambient light)
(4) Admirals that actually went to sea regularly (I know...hard to imagine)
etc.
Yet people loved the show, and I doubt that a single submariner complained about it....simply because it was so very unrealistic and not putting on ANY political airs.
Contrast "Last Resort," which does nothing but put on political airs and insult the submarine force in the process (e.g., episode #1).
Just sayin'. Non-reality works, but only if you're not pretending it is realistically possible.
And in full agreement with the comment above: go read any general-public blog with comments on "Last Resort" and you'll see any number of "whoa...this is scarrrry...and so posssssible" comments from various nitwits who really believe this shit.
Thus/But/And...pretending to be 'realistic' has serious downsides.
10/11/2012 3:01 PM
I'm still waiting for mothra. Maybe when the dormant island volcano erupts?
10/13/2012 9:17 AM
I'm six minutes into the first episode (DVR'd). I was pretty excited when I saw the commercials last month, even knowing it would have inaccuracies. Just to see the boats on primetime would be cool. I was the rare sub/surface sailor: after 1.5 years on the boat, they finally figured out I was allergic to amine, finished my enlistment as an Enterprise nuke. You think coners can be dumb? Try your average skimmer fag.
Anyways to the show; six minutes in, and I'm pausing it to Google "last resort realistic", to see what the sub community had to say. I haven't stumbled on to the site for a couple years, and I just wanted to say thanks for the hilarity in the comments. The show is COMPLETELY screwed in the "resembles anything close to submarine life".
10/15/2012 5:59 PM
Spoilers! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.
I don’t need to discuss technical issues. The show has flaws everywhere.
No one’s paying attention to details. At one point, the sub is on the surface. The CO and XO prepare to launch a missile. The missile hatches open—underwater. When the missile launches, the sub is still surfaced.
At the start, the stated crew complement is 150. (Whether this counts or discounts the SEALs is not discussed.) During the first episode, thirteen people are killed. At the end, the CO states his submarine has 150 people.
Later, the CO declares, “Open hatches, let the world see them!” The sub is underwater at the time.
Ridiculous gunfights? Check. When bad guys invade, the XO goes to fight them. (Aside: if your life depends on launching ballistic missiles, and that takes the XO, why would you send the XO to a gunfight far from the sub?) On a whim he steps into the open to make a moral appeal. After he rambles on for three minutes, we get shocking news: the bad guys are actually Spetsnasz! Yes, a dozen trained Spetsnasz watched an enemy ramble in a language they didn’t understand for three minutes without shooting.
When the bad guys do start shooting, hundreds of shots all miss the XO as he runs back to safety. Once he’s behind cover, an unnamed extra standing next to him behind a tree is hit and dies instantly. Another officer is shot in the arm. Her arm is in front of her body at the time. Between her arm and her body, the bullet evaporates.
So Hollywood only makes unrealistic gunfights. I can suspend disbelief. But I can’t suspend disbelief about the stupid.
The COB objects to the CO’s actions, so the CO imprisons him. Does he lock him up out of the way? Of course not! Instead, he’s in an open cage along the main road, down which every character walks repeatedly. This is so he can spread discontent and foment rebellion unimpeded. Which is what he’d be doing if he weren’t locked up.
The sub has a new system that makes it less detectable. It’s experimental, never-before-used, and potentially dangerous. Imagine you’re an admiral. You have a sub outfitted with an experimental, never-before-used, potentially dangerous system. Do you:
a) Test it out in local waters while you figure out the system’s properties, so you can rescue the sub if something goes wrong, or…
b) Send it AS FAR AWAY AS PHYSICALLY POSSIBLE ON PLANET EARTH. With a full load-out, to boot!
The attack on the sub comes from the USS Illinois, which the good guys figures out instantly. (Don’t even ask “How?”) At the end of the episode, the CO calls out the Illinois by name. Who does the Illinois think she attacked? The Illinois got orders to attack someone who turned out to be a good guy. How? If the Illinois pulls that string, the conspiracy unravels, as it would if the Fleet in charge of the Illinois did the same. But they don’t.
After the good guys are attacked, the US nukes Pakistan, which it believes destroyed the good guys. Huh? The first thing that happens is the good guys get orders to nuke Pakistan. That is, the nuke orders came before the attack they were retaliating for. If the good guys follow the launch order, then nothing afterwards makes sense.
Doubling down on this absurdity, in the second episode, after the sub announces to the world it’s gone rogue, there’s a news broadcast which announces Congress’ support of the nuking. Congress unanimously approves a nuclear attack in retaliation for sinking a sub that wasn’t sunk, against a country that didn’t attack it. Really?
One sub-plot implies that the true goal is industrial espionage—an attempt to steal the new system. (Problem: if the sub was sunk in the attack, as was apparently supposed to happen, this plot thread collapses.) I guess the writers haven’t read the recent news about cyber-attacks on defense contractors. There are easier ways to steal technology than, say, starting a nuclear war.
And that’s the silliest part of all. If your conspiracy is so powerful it can start a nuclear war at its convenience, what objective would take a nuclear war to achieve?
10/18/2012 11:38 AM
"Congress unanimously approves a nuclear attack in retaliation for sinking a sub that wasn’t sunk, against a country that didn’t attack it. Really?"
Take a good, hard look at our current legislature, and tell me this is really that big of a reach.
10/18/2012 12:23 PM
Agreed...thats essentially what happened with iraq 2...
10/19/2012 11:35 AM
Yes! Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea still wins for the most fantastic look at submarines. The only competent officer on the ship was undoubtedly XO LDCR "Chip" Morton, who always had it together during violent submerged rolls, attacks by bug-eyed monsters, failed attempts by Kowalski to trim the "dampening rods" in the reactor, and of course, violent short circuits in every panel in control (clearly the yard saved money by skipping the installation of circuit breakers.) On the other hand, that boat had the widest corridors imaginable (to accommodate the camera dolly, no doubt.) And don't you think the NR-1 would have benefitted from the panoramic windows in the bow of the Seaview! Moral of the story - it's TV, not reality.
10/20/2012 11:41 AM
They Should hire the guy that wrote "Hey Shipwreck" as a technical expert for correctness....
10/31/2012 2:15 PM
And it's officially cancelled: http://news.yahoo.com/2-freshman-tv-series-canceled-abc-1-cbs-013747134.html
11/16/2012 8:51 PM
Good riddance. Now I can stop telling my friends how dumb they are for watching this trash.
mm1
11/20/2012 6:50 PM
It's very sad when you all put down this show, You look at it for entertainment value, and don't look between the lines and what the writers are trying to say to wake the SHEEPLE up. cause a majority of the things that is taking place is, or has happened in the lies that are told, and the cover-ups. Wake up people. you been sitting in front of the TV to lone and mesmerized into zombies. If you want to see entertainment and funny crap, go watch a Chuck Norris film...
11/22/2012 2:47 AM
And this is the reason why you stupid people can't see the reality in this show, Turn your TV off for a week and start researching about whats going on with all the crap and control were all going through, When are you jokers going to wake up. Now I see why they call the Public Sheeple, because no one has true comments , you all follow the bunch like morons , Can't think for yourselves. I say tjis show is better then almost all the stupic sitcoms with the resident gays and poorly written scrips. I give last resort a 10.. Because I've done alot of research and the truth Hurts on the subject of controlling the public, but you guys rather stick your heads in the sand, I pity you all for such stupid comments....
11/22/2012 2:55 AM
one of the best tv series i had ever watched!
12/06/2012 9:20 AM
A poorly contrived soap......selling soap.
12/28/2012 9:13 AM
Idea for portion of an episode . . . while at PR RR, qualified OOD and ERS row boat over from their boat's pier, to paint cross-hairs on the unsuspecting target's hull. The target's duty section on duty that night all go to see the Old Man.
Now that would be entertainment! Although, these days, they'd be shot as possible terrorists.
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